Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.

The Marine in my grandmother will always be remembered.

When I was 17, my mother signed on to take in a foreign exchange student from Austria. This turd's name was Fabian, and he was an ass. There's no better way to put it, he was just nasty to us. He thought he was god's gift to women, he was a drummer, and he came to America to experience the music and illegal drugs.

One morning, I had worked late the night before, and he started in with his stereo blasting in the bedroom around 6:30. My room was adjacent to his, and apparently he thought it was acceptable for Def Leppard and Metallica to be played at near full volume through his little ghetto blaster radio.

I asked him to turn it down, and he turned it down a little bit - the equivalent of turning it from 10 to 9. And then he looked at me with this smug assed smirk on his face, like, "Don't like it? Tough shit."

I said to myself, "Ok, fine. Two can play this game." I walked out into the living room and grabbed Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, and several other country CDs that my mom and sister liked, and loaded them up into my CD player in my bedroom.

I then cranked up my stereo system (which was akin to a home theatre system with about 300 watts of power to his roughly 75-100 watt radio) and let loose with "Achy Breaky Heart."

I then calmly shut my bedroom door, walked down the hall with it blasting loud enough to hear in the living room, and waited.

He came down the hall, and said, "Did you know the stereo in your room is on?"

"Yep. I want to be able to hear it out here, over yours."

He turned around, walked back down the hall, and, unbeknownst to me, hooked up a pair of headphones to listen to his stuff so he didn't have to listen to the country blaring on my system.

My grandmother had just gotten back from Jack in the Box, and she hears the music, asks me, "What's going on?" and I explain.

She marched back down the hall, made a fist, and pounded 4 times SOLIDLY on the bedroom door before throwing the door open and telling Fabian, "Turn that goddamn music down! My grandson was trying to sleep and your crap woke him up! What the hell do you think you're doing? You don't own this house! TURN IT DOWN!"

He was terrified of my grandmother, and immediately the volume went down.

My sister looked at me and said, "What just happened?"

"Grambo just happened."


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