Greeting, fellow fans of law, flaws, tacos, and bad takes on the media. You caught me catching up on some of my old favorites. Wait, who am I kidding. Just like any television show, when you run out of ideas, you just repackage your clips (it’s a flashback episode!). So we’re going to run through some of the past with some brief commentary, and then, if you have a legal question, post it in the comments, and I’ll answer it in the next law blog.
Necessary disclaimer- please do not ask me specific questions about an actual legal problem you are facing. Get an attorney; legal issues are fact- and jurisdiction-specific, and best solved by real attorneys and large sums of cash paid to the judge. And I know all, if you write, “So, uh, a friend of mine wondered if he could sue the Long Needle Company(tm) for not reminding him to never put anything smaller than his elbow in his ear,” then, well, just stop it Brad.
(1) On the Law.
a. So, the court can’t stand ya. If you follow political cases in the courts (you shouldn’t, because you have better things to do, like get your teeth extracted), then you often hear that someone or other lacks “standing.” And if you’ve wondered why the court can’t just decide the legal issue, instead of deciding that it can’t stand the plaintiff, this post is for you.
b. I’ll take potpourri for $500, Alex. Sometimes I like to answer reader questions, quickly, misleadingly, and dismissively. If you want to not learn about oral contracts, deceptive advertising, and the difference between civil and criminal law as it applies to murder (MURDER!) you may want to look here.
c. Our law is in jeopardy, baby. Double jeopardy ... the favorite canard of bad writers, is, in fact, a real concept.
d. COMES NOW, the Loki Law Blog. Why do lawyers write like they do? Is it just to make you angry, or it that just a happy benefit for the attorneys?
e. So, um, have you watched the news recently? A quick legal guide to impeachment, so that you can be that guy at parties. You know, the one who says, “Sure, we can impeach the President, but it doesn’t matter unless we convict him as well.”
f. See generally, the things I have written before. An exercise in deception; it was supposed to be about reading all judicial opinions, but it’s really about signals and reporters in legal opinions. EXCITING!
g. Just hire an attorney, dude. Seriously. I wrote a whole series on how to hire an attorney. Go look. But if you insist on doing legal research yourself, I wrote a post on both why it is more possible than ever, and why you still shouldn’t.
h. Do not expect justice from the justice system. That says it all, plus a bonus paragraph on family law.
(2) On the media.
a. Review of Goliath. For all David E. Kelley and Billy Bo Bob Thornton fans.
b. Overview of decent, yet “meh” streaming television, featuring Medicis and Versailles. Is it too soon to point out that this post has jokes about both the required boobs in premium cable TV and Dustin Hoffman? Man, that was less than nine months ago. My universe o acceptable things to watch is shrinking every day.
c. You stayed until the end of Thor, right? A brief post about post-credits sequences, in light of Legion.
d. Never watch American Playboy. Just don’t. Really.
e. Ruminations on Norm McDonald and Trump. That says it all.
(3) The past is prologue. If you’re up to it, please feel free to look at my last summary of posts. Back when I cared more, and wrote longer and wittier descriptions! Don’t worry, I will refund you all your money for this post.
Reminder- If you post a question in the comments, I may use it in my next post.