Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.

So I just tried cardiokickboxing....

So a CKO just opened by me and I decided to give it a try. I'd been going to the gym 5 times a week up until the last few months when I've completely slacked off due to boredom, put back on a few pounds and decided to try something new that would interest me, at least for awhile.

My initial impression was not terribly thrilling. I walked in to a dude in shorts, skeletoes, and a skin tight shirt over a big fat belly. He looked kinda like butterbean but with hair...oh and he was around 5'2. He was the instructor. Not impressed. He knew it too, since I couldn't stop staring at his fat belly. He was careful to tell me how he wasn't in this game to lose weight, just to improve his cardio health and endurance. Sure fat man, sure.


Fast forward 10 minutes. Class starts. Fat little man is screaming out instructions while pounding the bag...jabs, crosses, roundhouses, push kicks, uppercuts, elbows, knees, running laps, some kinda effed up modified mountain climbers, figure skater jumper thingies...the list went on and on. 60 minute class. I made it to minute 35 before tapping out: clearly I'd been going WAY too hard and took it WAY too lightly considering the perceived condition of the fat little man who was teaching the class. Have I mentioned yet that I hate that fat little man?

So after 35 minutes, I snuck up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder, tapped the mat 3 times signifying my tap out, bowed to him, and walked out. I'll try it again at some point since they allow you to pay by the class, but I learned 3 VERY important lessons that EVERYONE should take note of if they ever try a demo for this shit and are in crappy shape:

  1. Even though they don't tell you to, bring water. Lots of it. Dehydration occured for me within I'd say the first 15 minutes.
  2. Do not go all out on your first class from the git go. You will burn RIGHT the hell out (again, assuming you're not already in good shape). Don't try and keep up with people that have been doing it, no matter WHAT kind of shape they look to be in.
  3. They require you to buy gloves - I bought mine from a sports store rather than paying 50 bucks for the ones they sell at the gym. Gloves themselves are fine, but get yourself handwraps to go under them because let me tell you, two knuckles on each hand are rubbed effing raw (that may have actually had more to do with my tapping out than the actual cardio bit).

So in short...when your instructor is a fat bastard, don't take that little man lightly. He's just luring you in to completely eff with your world. Die, little fat man...die. Next time, it's the sharpshooter for you.


Edit: Adding a picture of my nasty knuckles, though I covered the worst of them. Had a few people at work ask if I had gotten into a fight yesterday.

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