Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.

Otters Oddities

Songs there are, why so many rainbows about?

This isn't the picture I wanted to use. But if I used the one I wanted, I would have gotten yelled at. Some people would have said it's NSFW. Even though it was only a picture of a Kermit the Frog had puppet. Granted, it was Kermit in the infamous Goatse pose, but still.....


So, I decided not to use it. I am saving the picture though. I will use it at a later date in another context. Instead, I have Kermit and Yoda. And is it me, or does Yoda look high as hell?

Did everyone have a good Easter yesterday? I hope enormous quantities of ham was consumed. And that there was green bean casserole and some scalloped corn, and some mushed up taters and gravy. I mean, the feast is what Easter is all about, right? I once called it Zombie Jesus Day, but got in trouble. Well, not really trouble, but I was given many stern looks of disapproval.

But is it really wrong to call it Zombie Jesus Day? What is the popular definition of a zombie? It's someone who has dies, but then rises again after being dead for a while. And what happened with Jesus? He died, then after three days, he got back up. By deffiniton, he was a zombie. It has nothing to do with his religious status at all. I'm just saying that if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, then Jesus was a zombie.

And if you think I'm a horrible person for making that comparison, go read the bible someday. It's full of things that are much much worse than calling Jesus a zombie. Lot's daughters anyone? How about God messing with Isaac? Or God messing with Job.


Which brings me to a question for all those that got offended at the Zombie Jesus joke; How did ham become the popular meat to serve at Easter anyway? The bible specifically prohibits pork as food. So isn't it a little odd that ham is the food most people associate with Easter? One of the holiest days in christianity. I bet next week the McDonalds in Bethlehem will start serving Owl McNuggets.*

So, how's your Monday going so far? Did you all read and respond to the Roll Call? If you haven't, you better do that. K2b will give you a wet-willie if you don't. At least, I hope that was a wet-willie....


Today is, of course, Made Up Monday. The day I make up something or I tell you a truthful fact. It's up to you to decide. You know like, did the Badgers really beat Kentucky? AW HELLS YEAH THEY DID! (I live in Wisconsin, so I have to pretend that I care. I hate basketball. I would like it if they actually played by the rules, but that's a story for another....well....never, I guess)

OK, quick, true or false; Otter is typing this while the local news is on and the weather man just said we are under a winter weather advisory for 1-3 inches of wet, heavy snow by tomorrow morning? Sadly, true. Welcome to spring in the upper midwest.


Anyway, today I want to tell you about something that used to be different than how it is now. And it involves going back in time. Keep the Delorean in the garage because you do not want to actually travel back to the time I'm talking about. It's more of a theoretical trip. We're heading back about 4.2 billion years.

Where should we go? It really doesn't matter I suppose. No place that exists now existed then. So let's just go to some piece of solid ground. HAH! Fooled you! 4.2 billion years ago there wasn't really any solid ground. The surface of the Earth was still under a constant bombardment of space debris. So, let's just get back in our time machine and jump ahead about 400 million years.


By 3.8 billion years ago, the Late Heavy Bombardment** was pretty much over. There were still some space flotsam floating around, but the gravitational pulls of the planets had mostly cleared out their orbits. So things began to calm down. Which allowed the crust to stabilize and begin to cool. This also allowed the water that was ejected from the core and that was contained in the junk that collided with Earth to stay in a liquid form. The cooling also allowed the gaseous water in the atmosphere to re-liquify and fall as rain. Lot's and lot's of rain.

In fact, it probably rained for about 10 million years without stopping. And it was this rain that formed the oceans. Hot big puddles. Not that 2 inches of water in your basement, but the oceans. The miles deep oceans. The very same oceans that make up 2/3 of the planet.


But you would not recognize these oceans. First of all, there was about 20% more heavy water in the ocean. (heavy water is water that also has an atom of deuterium). Also, it wasn't salt water. When we talk about salt water, the 'salt' doesn't actually refer to sodium chloride. There is some of that in there, but the 'salt' actually refers to different minerals in the water.

Oh, and the water wasn't blue. It was green. 'Well', you think, 'that makes sense Otter. You've told us before that the first life on Earth was Cyanobacteria'. Cyanobacteria is also known as blue-green algae. So of course the water would be green. Or blueish-green, right?


Nope. There wasn't even a speck of blue. And I'm talking about the water before cyanobacteria appeared on the scene. Before there was ever any life, the Earths water was green. Today, 3.8 billion years later, the Earths water is blue. (don't be fooled, that water in your glass only looks clear....)

So, something must have happened to turn all that green water blue, right? Well, yes. That's right. And as every kindergartner knows, if you have green and want to make it blue, you have to take away the yellow. (blue + yellow = green, duh..) So what happened? What was so yellow that removing it from the oceans made the water blue?


Ok, paying attention? Because here is where I tell you the fact you have to decide if it's made up or true.

Iron. The oceans were full of iron, and that made the water green. When the iron was gone, the water turned blue.


So, am I lying or telling the truth? Post your answer in the comments and I'll be back tomorrow with the answer.

* I'm not mocking anyones personal religious beliefs. Everyone is free to believe how they want. I mock religion not to mock beliefs, but to mock the inconsistencies in religion that most adherents ignore.


** No, really, that's what it was called. And, since there was a Late Heave Bombardment, there must have been an Early Heavy Bombardment, right? Well, not really. There was, but it's not really called that. It would have most likely been the Thera Collision. This is where the sister planet to Mars, Thera, collided with the Earth and ejected materiel out to form the moon. It also most likely left most of the debris that caused the Late Heavy Bombardment. At least, that's one of the theories.

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