To my darling wife, who has been unfaithful for all these years, I leave nothing! All my worldly possessions I leave to the Salvation Army! That no good.......No, no. That's not right. I must leave this woman some small pittance to remember me by. And so, I leave to her my carapace! Once my tasty flesh has been drenched in butter and consumed, I want my wife to have my empty red shell! It's all she deserves!

One thing you learn after living a life on the open sea is, don't mess with lobsters. They are vindictive as heck!

Today is Tell The Truth Tuesday. I am about to reveal unto you the truth about yesterdays post. And I think Simon and Garfunkel said it best in their hit song 'The Boxer':

Lie lie lie! Lie luh lie lie lie lie lie, lie luh lie. Lie luh lie lie lie lie lie luh luh lie lie lie!

Yes friends, I made up Nicholas. But if you guessed I was telling the truth, don't feel bad. Because, as the saying goes, 'sometimes truth is stranger than fiction'.

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And the truth is, in 1863 a young boy found a man in his 20's propped up against a rock on the beach at Sandy Cove. Both of his legs had been recently amputated below the hip. He survived his injuries, and when questions about what his name was, he muttered something that sounded like Jerome. So that's what he was called. Doctors who examined him think he may have suffered a stroke, and that led to his loss of speech.

Jerome could make animal sounds, and communicate with grunts, but he couldn't speak in anything resembling a language. In fact, in the entire time he spent in Sandy Cove, (49 years), he never said more than 2 or 3 words. When asked about where he had come from, or what had happened to him, Jerome would get angry and refuse to communicate in any way with the person who asked the questions.

The government of Canada did pay the people who cared for him $2 a week, and Jerome also didn't object to being put on display, where people would pay a fee to come see him and marvel at the mystery man of Sandy Cove.

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Jerome died on April 15, 1912. You might know that date from some other incident that happened that same night. (at least, you should know that date...)

There was a scrap of truth in the post about Nicholas, though. Fraser Mooney Jr did in fact write a book. I just substituted the name Nicholas for the name Jerome in the title. And he speculated that he was either someone who pissed off the people of Chipman, causing them to chop off his legs and abandon him in Sandy Cove, or that he was an heir to some royal estate and was.....removed....for someone else to inherit the.....whatever. No one believes Mooneys book or wild theories though. He really doesn't have any proof to back them up. Just speculation.

So, I lied. But like all good lies, this one had a basis in truth. Remember that if you ever need to lie convincingly to someone. Most convincing lies have some semblance of truth behind them.

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But now, on with the show.

Who here likes lobster? And, who eats the tail? And who eats the claws? And who takes the time to get the scrumptious meat out of the legs? And who eats the tamale? Ok....get out! If you eat the lobster tamale, I don't want to associate with you. That's just gross. I am not a fan of the practice of eating offal. It's icky.

How many of you have heard that lobsters are biologically immortal? Do you guys even know what that means? Basically, something that's biologically immortal doesn't die of cellular senescence due to chronological aging. That means, as it get's older, it's cell mortality rate stabilizes or decreases. So it, theoretically will never die from old age.

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Lobsters produce an enzyme called telomerase. (sounds like a butter based sauce if you ask me..). What this enzyme does is, it rebuilds damaged strands of DNA. This means that as a lobster get's older, there's less degradation in it's DNA which means it continues to produce the healthy proteins needed to create healthy cells. (basically).

There are people out there who hear this and assume that it means lobsters live forever. And if you look at a lobster, you might be inclined to agree. As lobsters age, they actually become more fertile. The reason for this is, a larger female can carry more eggs. And left in the wild, lobsters never stop growing. The world record for largest lobster ever is a 44 pound beast caught in 1977. The Maine state record is a 27 pound, 3 1/2 foot long bug. That's the size of a toddler!

And the nice thing is, as a lobster get's older, it's flesh remains tasty. So a 1 pound lobster tail tastes the same as a 30 pound lobster tail. (we're gonna need a bigger butter bowl....)

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But one thing lobsters aren't is, immortal. They do die in the wild. All the time. And the thing that kills them is what kills many people; old age. But not in the way it kills us.

When a human dies of 'old age', their bodies just give out. We aren't built to last forever. And as we get older, our organs just get tired and stop working. And we die.

In lobsters, because they don't degrade the same way humans do due to age, they die from old age differently. The way a lobster grows is the same way all arthropods grow; they moult their exoskeleton. Picture that lobster you were just served. Now, remove it's shell. Not just from the tail and claws, but from the entire thing. That's what a moulted lobster looks like. Well, minus the butter, I mean.

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And moulting is a very strenuous task. It takes a lot of energy. And sometimes, a lobster doesn't have that energy. S it gets stuck mid-moult. And it dies. Or if the lobster gets injured, scar tissue on it's flesh can attach to it's shell causing it to get stuck and not be able to moult. So they die from exhaustion trying.

So while it's not true that lobsters are immortal, it is a fact that they are delicious with butter.