I was going to caption this picture with a Herp, but I decided I didn't want to insult all the Derps out there.
Although, when I think about it, when have I ever let the possibility that I might offend someone stop me from printing something?
I mean, I don't go out of my way to be offensive. It just comes naturally. I'm like a jerk-savant. But I'm not a jerky jerk. I'm more of the jerk you like to have around because every group needs a jerk. And I do pretty good. Sometimes. I'm not always a jerk. Sometimes I accidentally be nice.
I apologize for the explanation, but we have more people showing up since our recent inclusion in the Gizmodo list, and they deserve to know what the heck it is they are reading.
I am ottermann, and this is Otters Oddities. It's a daily post I do because, frankly, I have way too much free time. I focus on things that are odd. And I don't limit myself in subject matter. If it's odd, I'll find it. Because, as I've said many times, I delve into the damp, dark places of the internet where respectable people shouldn't go so you don't have to. In the almost 2 years I've been doing this, I've done oddities posts that were funny, sad, disturbing and down right gross. But they are always odd.
I have changed things up over time by having a daily 'theme' to my posts. They may change at any time, as I am a slave to my whims, but currently they are:
- Made Up Mondays - On Mondays I post a fact that might be true, or it might be false. I leave it up to the reader to decide if I'm telling the truth or if I'm lying. I ask people to put their choice in the comments and maybe explain their reasoning. I only ask that you refrain from looking up the answers until after you've posted.
- Tell The Truth Tuesdays - On Tuesdays I supply the answer to wether or not I made up Mondays fact. I'll go into some detail about it, and then finish with a normal oddity.
- Wednesday - It's Wednesday. Big deal. Nothing special here, just a regular oddity.
- Totally Trippy Theory Thursdays - On Thursdays I find a theory to tell people about. They are mostly conspiracy theories of some sort, but they don't have to be. I guarantee I do not make up the theories, and that actual people somewhere actually believe them. I make no judgement as to wether or not they could be true. I just present them and let you, the reader, decide if you wish to believe them. But someone, somewhere, who is not me, does believe them.
- Friday Rocks - On Fridays, I indulge my hobby. I am a fossil collector. Fridays I post odd fact about the natural sciences and follow up with pictures of fossils from my personal collection. I then talk about the shown example a little. But since this is Otters Oddities, there will always be some oddness in the fossils. (like the fossilized poop a few weeks back).
I try to be accurate with my facts, but I'm an otter, so I make mistakes. Let me know and I'll fix them. (unless the truth kills the funny). I also don't generally post links that back up the facts I post. This is intentional. Not because I'm trying to hide my sources, but because I'd rather you do the research on any fact you question or wish to know more about. Clicking a supplied link is not the way to learn. Researching it yourself is. (heh....I'm learning you while I'm entertaining you)
Anyway, that's basically what Otters Oddities is. I always try to keep it entertaining and informative. I welcome all the new readers and I always take suggestions/requests in the comments.
But today is a Thursday. And I can see by the schedule I posted above that makes it Totally Trippy Theory Thursday! This is a theory that actual people actually believe.
And it involves that doofus pictured above.
It also involves Michael Jackson.
*Note* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an awfully long name to type, and it's devilishly difficult to spell, so to keep myself sane, from here on in, I will be calling him Derpy.
We all remember the tragic death of Michael Jackson in 2009. It was, according to his doctor, a tragic accident. Even though his doctor claims it was an accidental death, he was put on trial and convicted and served 2 years in prison. But, he was framed. Conrad Murray was not responsible for the death of Michael Jackson. Derpy was.
In 2009, just before Michael died, Derpy was up for reelection in Iran. And the effects of the Arab Spring were being felt in Iran. There was no guarantee that Derpy would win the election legitimately. So he had to cheat. He needed to suppress the opposition. He needed to stuff the ballot boxes. But he didn't need the world to be watching while he did it.
So Derpy sent his agents to America with orders to distract the worlds media. And they did it by killing Michael Jackson.
If you go back and look, you'll see that there was basically a revolution by Iranian citizens. They took to social media to protest and were put down, sometimes harshly. But the world ignored it because the worlds press were all focused on Michael Jackson. Who Derpy had killed.
Now, like I said, I don't believe these theories. I just present them for you to be entertained.
Stay tuned for tomorrows post where, as promised, I'll have a flying trilobite.