Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.

Otters Oddities

3/1/94 was a day that shook the world. Some would say the second coming had finally arrived. Others would know of the doom it portended. It is the day the music truly died, friends. It is the day that Justin Bieber was born.

And as proof that his birth caused reverberations throughout the world, it was just one month later that Kurt Cobain took his life. He saw the future of music. And he couldn't abide the future. So he chose to leave this mortal plane.


All blame lies squarely on Biebers shoulders.

Ok, that was satire. But really, I honestly believe Bieber is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine and Douchebag.

I should really be careful though. Bieber has some rabid fans. And until they're all put down, I need to watch what I say. Otherwise they'll bite me and infect me too. And no one, especially me, wants that.

I have a decision to make today. Today is Sunday, even though you read this Monday, and I need to decide if I want to go shoot trap today. There are two weeks left in the season, and I can finish next week. But tomorrow, I'm taking my gun in to have some minor work done on it. I should have it back by next week, but there is no guarantee. The problem is, right now the air temp is -6. And it's only going to go up 1 or 2 more degrees. Plus we have a steady wind that has the wind chill down to -25. And if I go shoot in 3 hours, it's going to be closer to -30 to -35.


So, do I stay home, warm, and run the risk of not having my gun to finish next week? or do I go freeze my Jimmies off and run the real risk of frostbite?

I know. I'll flip a coin. Heads I shoot, tails I don't. *Flip* Hmm....2 out of three....*Flip*. 3 out of 5. *Flip* DAMNIT! 4 out of 7 *Flip* FINE! Screw it! I didn't want to shoot today anyway! (ok, in reality, there was no coin and no flipping. And I'm not stupid enough to actually shoot today. But I will go and drink some beers with the guys.)


Regardless of what you just read, today is Monday. (I wrote this on Sunday). And that means it's Made Up Monday! I'm going to tell you a fact, and you are going to tell me if I made it up, or if it's the truth.

Let's begin.

I've dabbled in words before. And I've even told you about some of them. Because words are fun. One of the things about our words is, they are like us. They have evolved over time. A word that we use today to mean one thing may not have meant the same thing in the past.


In fact, the word we use today may not be the same language we speak today.

Let's take, as an example, the word vanilla. When the Spanish conquistadors came to South America, they found the natives using a seed pod to flavor their food and drink. They had never seen anything like it, and enjoyed the flavor. Looking at the plant it came from, and looking at the seed it's self, they gave it the name 'Vanilla'.


The word vanilla means 'little pod' or 'little sheath' in Latin. And like all latin words, it is a daughter word. That is, it is a word that is derived from a parent word. And that word is the latin word 'Vagina'.

You see, the flower that the vanilla pod comes from reminded the conquistahorn-dogs of a vagina. So that's why they derived vanilla from vagina. (to be 100% accurate, they formed vanilla from the Spanish 'vania', which is the diminutive form of the latin word vagina.)


Oh, and another interesting fact about vanilla is, it's the seed pod of a type of orchid. Orchids take their name from the Greek word 'orchis' which means testicles. (this comes from the shape of the roots, not the flower).

You didn't know that vanilla was such a sexy spice, did you? (you didn't know vanilla was a spice either, did you? When picked, vanilla beans are technically unripened fruits. But since they are then dried, they become a spice. Spices are the dried fruits of their respective plants. Herbs are the leaves.)


And that brings up to the point where you really need to pay attention. Here is where you need to decide if I'm lying or not.

Hydrogen bombs are bloodless weapons. After an H Bomb goes off, none of the victims on a 20km radius leave any blood showing they were there.


So my friends, am I lying or not? I'll tell you tomorrow.

*Authors Note*

What. Just because you thought I was going to do a post on words doesn't mean I had to, does it? I'm just keeping you all on your toes.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter