This is me and I haven't even written this post yet. All I've done is researched it. And yet, this is me.
No, this isn't one of my opening jokes. This is actually the face I had the entire time I was researching todays subject.
In fact, todays subject has left me with a distinct absence of humor to insert into the post. How can I be entertaining if I can't be funny? Does anyone want to read a stodgy otter?
I know I wouldn't. But today, I'll have to. (yes, despite all the blatant grammatical and spelling errors, I do in fact read my own posts. And yes, I do find most of my mistakes before anyone else. I just choose to not care about them. I am human and therefore not perfect. And frankly, I have better things to do that correct my spelling/grammar. I beat Torchlight 2 finally, and you can't do that if you spend all your time as a grammar nazi.)
Ooohh! I forgot I had these! In case you're wondering, and even if you aren't, I'm referring to a pack of Little Debbies Frosted Donuts. Chocolate flavored. Mmmmm.....donuts.......
Today is, of course, Totally Trippy Theory Thursday. And as you may have guessed, I have a real doozy for you today. It's not the kind of theory I normally describe. This one is a celebrity theory. But putting aside the look on my face as I was researching it, there was really never any doubt in my mind that I had to share it with everyone.
And, as always, this is a real theory that actual people actually believe.
Everyone has a favorite. Most of us have several favorites spanning several categories. Favorite foods, pets, pens, movies, you get the idea. But one persons favorite is better than everyone elses. Kanye West had made it abundantly clear who his favorite female performer is; Beyonce. Personally, I think Kanye wishes he were a big enough man to steal Beyonce away from Jay Z, but that's a tale for another day.
Today's theory is about Kanye's, and millions of other peoples, favorite female singer.
Beyonce was born in 1981. And that's where our theory starts. You see, the theory says, no, Beyonce wasn't born in 1981. It claims she was born in 1974.
Shocks, SHOCKED I say! A female lying about her age? Mortified I am. Except, that's not the part of the theory that has me all, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?"
There is a reason Beyonce lies about her year of birth. It was her parents Idea. Because when her sister Solange was born in 1986, she wasn't her sister. She was her daughter.
That's right. This theory states that Beyonce was actually born in 1974 and gave birth to Solange in 1986. To cover up the scandal and hide their shame, Bey's parents told everyone Solange was their daughter and they began lying about Beyonce's year of birth.
I'm just going to ignore the fact that this would have required a 12 year old to give birth. And if anyone remembers the mid 1980's, you'll remember that pedophiles were thought to be lurking everywhere. Not a day went by when you didn't hear of some predator, real or imagined, preying on children. And in that climate, no way would the fact that a 12 year old gave birth have gotten past the media.
But....I'm not here to debate the merits of these theories. I'm only here to spread the word so you can all bask in the WTF.....