Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.

Otters Oddities

Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

Well? What if....

I mean, tell me that those two couldn't be Bush/Cheney....

I mean, US politicians aren't exactly known for their stupendous intellects. How many times have you head the phrase "That Clinton sure was a smart guy!"?


And if you think about it, If pro is the opposite of con, then what's the opposite of progress?

And that, my friends, is my point.

Anyway, my shoulder still hurts a fair bit, and the posture of typing makes it worse, so I'ma just do this and get it over with.


Today is Thursday. Yadda yadda yadda....Totally Trippy Theory Thursday....yadda yadda yadda....I didn't make it up...yadda yadda yadda...people believe know the drill by now.

And today's featured theory has to do with that horrible tragedy that occurred on December 26, 2004. The Tsunami that devastated the Indian Ocean and surrounding area. An earthquake measuring 9.1 to 9.3 caused a tsunami that killed ~230,000 people in 14 different countries.


So, what's the conspiracy behind that? Mother Nature pissed about the plastic island floating in the Pacific?

No. The truth is much much sadder.

You see, the theory is, it wasn't an earthquake. Israel and America put their heads together and go their best scientists together and helped India detonate a nuclear weapon that caused the land slide that caused the tsunami.


Ok, so there had to be a reason right?

Well, if you look at a map of the most affected areas, you'll see they are predominately muslim. This was nothing more than an extension of India's and Pakistan's pissing contest over nuclear arms. India wanted to prove to Pakistan that it not only had the ability, but the will to use a massively powerful weapon that until then, only the Soviets and Americans were thought to possess.


And of course, Israel and America helped because dead muslims.

Anyway, that's today's theory. I'd like to stay and elucidate on how idiotic this theory is, but I need to go get some ice for my shoulder. Plus, I have cookies. And no, there are no raisins in them. Shut up! Raisins ruin everything! Even sex! Don't believe me? Next time you're having sex, break out a box of Sun Maid and offer your partner one. See? Sex ruined by raisins!

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