I am sad. He is skeptical. Why am I sad? Because I am suffering right now. I am enduring the largest case of Brain Fart ever experienced by man. Ever. For all time.
Plus, my space bar squeaks. Really, it does. My keyboard is one of those spiffy aluminum Apple ones. And it's old. And now, when I use my right thumb to press it, it actually squeaks. Like it needs oil.
And my farty brain? Well, let's just say I have been trying to come up with something witty for my opening joke for todays post and I got nothing. Not. A. Thing. And I've been sitting here thinking about it for at least 72.918 seconds.
This past weekend, I spent Saturday with my sister and her husband. They wanted to take me out for the day to celebrate my birthday that was like, weeks and weeks ago. (no really, it was 2 weeks ago...get it?) ANYway....we spent the day at that bastion of obscene consumerism called The Mall Of America. I did my part for the economy by spending exactly zero monies. (it's a shitty economy, I'm a shitty participant...)
So, when it was my turn to order a cherry slushie at Auntie Annes, to the utter embarrassment of my sister, I told the cashier as I was accepting my slushie, "Did you know that every straw only has one hole?". The cashier looks at me like I'm an idiot. She then looks at my straw and turns it over a couple of times and says, "Huh? It has two, see? One at each end.". I then said "But, it's the same hole.". She just gave me a 'whatever' look as she rolled her eyes and turned away.
As we turned to walk away fro the counter, the guy with his kid, (or the child predator and someone elses kid.....I'm not judging), said "Use your napkin.".
Then we played mini golf at Moose Mountain. Or whatever they called that place. I was only there for LEGO Land. And let me tell you, I had a very hard time not buying the special edition miniature Star Wars kits. They had mini Tie Fighters, X-Wings, Snow Speeders, At-Ats, Star Destroyers and a ittle bitty baby Millennium Falcon. But that's the danger of walking into Lego Land. Because right after I saw those Star Wars sets, I pivoted and my eyes were drawn like a magnet to the Ecto 1. They had oodles of them in stock.
After leaving LEGO Land, I decided to try and conduct a scientific experiment. Did you kow that if you put your ear up against a random strangers leg, you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?".
Is everyone ready to get their Mama's and the Papa's on? Because it's Monday Monday! (bah-dah dah-da-da-dah...) And since it's Monday, let's just declare this Made Up Monday! The day where I tell you a fact and you decide if I made it up or not.
Martin Luther King Jr. Minister, civil rights activist, Nobel laureate, ninja assassin. Yeah, ok....not really. I know no one is gullible enough to believe Dr. King was a ninja. He was, however, a driving force behind Americas civil rights movement. He didn't start it, and he wasn't the only one who made a difference, but he was one of the leaders.
In 1952, a book was published. It was just another book about someones personal experiences during World War Two. It was the first time it was printed outside Holland, though. It was first published there in 1947. And while the war had been over for just two short years, it quickly became popular. Popular enough to be translated into english at any rate.
The thing that set this book apart though, is it wasn't written as a book. It was a diary of one girls life as a jewish girl hiding with her family in German occupied Amsterdam. The girl who wrote it was named Anne Frank. And if you haven't read the book, I'm sure all of you at least know the story.*
A few years after it came out, Dr. King read the book. Like most people, he was moved by the story. He was impressed by this girls continuing courage in the face of unthinkable hardship. It served to put the civil rights movement into a different perspective for Dr. King, and strengthened his resolve to end the discrimination of African Americans.
So now my friends, we come to the part where you decide if I'm lying or not.
One thing that people don't realize about these two people is, They were born in the same year.
Or were they? You decide and tell me if I'm lying or not. I'll be back tomorrow to tell you the truth and fill your noggin with more mindless trivia.
* In 1984 I was in Amsterdam and went to the Anne Frank house. You climb the stairs and duck down into the opening behind the book case and enter the area where the families lived. It had been 40 years since the Frank's and the others were hauled off to the camps when I visited. But you could almost feel them there.