I don't see how this could possibly go wrong in any way....

Ignore the fact that he's about to stab a fairly insubstantial thing with a dagger. Also ignoring the fact that the dagger will not only pierce the spider, it will proceed to pass through to his hand.

The biggest question I have about this picture is, Why is he going to stab the spider when he already pulled off half it's legs? What is this guy, a sick freak?

Also, that artist really could use a bit of practice on drawing hands.

Anyone know what day it is? It's Dirt Pig day! Today is the day we all patiently wait to see if the dirt pig see'd it's shadow and gets so scared that we have to suffer through six more weeks of winter.

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Is it just me, or is this one of the dumber 'holidays' we observe? I mean, if it's cloudy spring will be sooner and if it's sunny spring will be later? Well, what if it's sunny, but the dirt pig doesn't turn around to see his shadow? Or, what if he sees it but it doesn't scare him? Or, what if he doesn't see it because it's so cloudy, but the large group of humans scare the dirt pig so bad it flees in terror?

Dirt Pig Day. Makes about as much sense as Arbor Day.

But you know what does make sense; Made Up Mondays! The day where I slather you with facts and you decide if I've slathered you in truth, or frosted you in falsehoods. (ok...going back and re-reading that, it's a bit....icky. But I'm leaving it. It's all about the visualizations...)

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Today I want to talk a bit about my friend, Alexander the Great. Of course, if word got out that he was friends with me, posterity would call him Alexander the Mediocre.

We all know who Alexander was, right? Do I really need to go into a lot of detail about him? Because, while he was young when he died, he did a hell of a lot in his short life. Here, for a summary of Alexander and his conquests, view this wonderful 9 minute 'documentary' about it.

To sum up, he went, he conquered, he named a city after himself, (several times), he fell in love with his horse, was crushed when this boy-toy died, then drank himself to death.

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That's about it. If Alexander decided to go to war and take some land, there really wasn't much anyone could do about it. Except.....

The Indians.

Not the John Wayne indians, the Indus Valley Indians. You know, the ones who actually live in India.

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It was in India where Alexander was forced to turn around to go home. And that's where the fun part of todays post comes into play. This is the part you get to decide if it was made up or not.

What was it about India that forced Alexander to go home? One word: Elephants.

The Indian armies used elephants as 'shock troops'. They were the tanks of their day. Archers and foot soldiers and cavalry could take out elephants. But it was tough. An elephant can absorb a lot of arrows and sword blows before the come down. And the Greek* tactic of forming up into a phalanx, while highly effective against humans, proved to be not so hot against elephants.

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While Alexander was victorious against his first encounters with elephant cavalry, the losses h sustained were too heavy for him to continue. So he went home, and India remained Indian.

So all you out there of the people persuasion, am I slathering you or frosting you? (that time it was intentional). I'll be back tomorrow with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. (well....plus some comedy. And another oddity. And some irreverent comments about something...)

* Yes, Alexander was Macedonian. But Macedon was part of the Greek states, and Greek is easier to type than Macedonian. Plus, in Hellenistic Greece, (when Greece lost it's dominance to Rome as the world empire), Macedon was the dominant state.