Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

Playing with the queen of hearts, knowing it ain't really smart, the joker ain't the only fool, who'll do anything for you!


God save the queen, a fascist regime. They made you a moron, potential H-bomb.

King for a day, princess by dawn; King for a day, in a leather thing. King for a day, princess by dawn; just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me.


Now when he was a young man, he never thought he'd see, people stand in line, to see the boy king.

I know, that's an awful lot of lyrics. Juice Newton, Sex Pistols, Green Day and Steve Martian. All good songs. Well....the Sex Pistols and Steve Martian are better than the other two, but....whatever.


I've been fighting something all day. I go from feeling fine to feeling...not crappy, but like I might feel crappy in a few hours. So I'm going to make this a cheap oddities. If I could find it on the internet, I would submit it to Dan7gtar for his IFIOTI post. But I have it in a book. So I'm going to present it as an oddity.

Now, while I say it's a cheap one, that doesn't mean I have it easy. It's a lot of typing. I just don't have to research it. And, it's not so much an oddity as it is a poem used by British school kids to remember the kings and queens of their country.


The Animaniacs did the same thing with the US Presidents.

Anyway, here is the poem you can memorize to impress people who care about the British Royal Family and who reigned and in what order:

William the Conqueror long did reign,

William his son, by an arrow was slain;

Henry the first was a scholar bright;

Stephen was king without any right.

Henry the Second was Plantagenet's scion;

Richard the First was brave as a lion;

Hohn, though a tyrant, the Charter signed;

Henry the Third had a weakly mind.

Edward the First conquered the Cambria dales;

Edward the Second was born Prince of Wales;

Edward the Third humbled France in it's pride;

Richard the Second in prison died.

Henry the Fourth for himself took the crown;

Henry the Fifth pulled the French king down;

Henry the Sixth lost his fathers gains.

Edward the Fourth of York laid hold of the reins;

Edward the Fifth was killed with his brother;

Richard the Third soon made way for another.

Henry the Seventh was frugal of means;

Henry the Eighth had a great many queens.

Edward the Sixth reformation began;

Bloody Queen Mary thwarted the plan.

Wise and profound were Elizabeth's aims;

England and Scotland were joined by King James.

Charles found the people a cruel corrector;

Oliver Cromwell was called Lord Protector.

Charles the Second was hid in an oak;

James the Second took Popery's yoke.

William and Mary were offered the throne,

Anne succeeded and reigned alone.

George the first from Hanover came;

George the Second kept up the name;

George the Third was loved in the land,

George the Fourth was pompous and grand.

William the Fourth had no heir of his own,

Victoria so young then came to the throne.

When at last her long reign was o'er,

Edward the Seventh the nations crown wore.

George the Fifth kept a strict moral tone,

Edward the Eighth relinquished the throne.

George the Sixth through the war years was king,

of Elizabeth the Second her praises we sing.

And, that's all of them. Now, if you want to know the names of the royal dynasties and their order, I suggest the mnemonic "No Point Letting Your Trousers Slip Half Way!"


Norman (1066-1154), Plantaganet (1216-1399), Lancaster (1399-1461), York (1461-1485), Tudor (1485-1603), Stuart (1603-1714), Hanover (1714-1901), and Windsor (1901- now)

Clever people will notice a gap between 1154 and 1216. Those monarchs weren't part of a dynastic family. They were one-and-done's.


And with that, I'm going to go to bed and see if I can sleep off whatever it is I'm coming down with, if I am actually coming down with something.

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