Um..er...ah..No, I wouldn't employ Ho Chi Minh as a drivah, senatah, why do you ahsk?
Yep. A Kennedy joke. Want another one?
Q: What did John F. Kennedy think of Dallas?
A: It blew his mind!
What? Too soon? Is it wrong to make jokes about dead presidents? Some may say yes. I san no. But then, I try to use humor for everything. For example, I was devastated when my mom died. but I was making jokes about it less than 4 hours later. Humor is how I cope with everything. I think the jokes stunned my mom and dads pastor, but my dad and sister laughed. And, my mom would have too. She had the same sense of humor I have. (i no rite?)
So, since presidents are public figures, I will joke about their deaths. Maybe not right after they die, but after some time has passed. A respectful amount of time. Like, 5 minutes, or something...
Personally, I think people take tragedy too seriously. For example, when the twin towers went down, none of the late night comedians told jokes for like....a week. And I'm not talking about jokes about the tragedy, but no jokes at all in their opening monologues. And this was at a time when America really needed a boost to our mood.
It has been scientifically proven that laughter does in fact help the healing process. So, when they say laughter is the best medicine, they aren't kidding. So, when the going get's bad, laugh in it's face. If you don't laugh, the sad will take over.
I'm not saying we should joke about the tragedy it's self, like, telling a joke about the twin towers the day after it happened would not have been right. But now? Depends on the joke, I guess and the setting. But the day after the towers fell, everyone in America could have used a laugh.
But I'm not here to talk about humor. I'm here to make you laugh!
Because, you know what day it is, right? It's Totally Trippy Theory Thursday! Today I tell you about a conspiracy theory that I did not make up. People actually believe these, and that's just sad.
Todays theory is a doozy. I thought last weeks about the moon being a hologram was nutty. But wait until you get a load of this one!
This is a theory involving the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
There are already many theories about this death. The CIA did it. The Mob did it. Castro did it. The man on the grassy knoll did it. The man in the sewer did it. There were 2 shooters. There were three shooters. Jackie grabbed the brain and kept it in her purse. Oswald worked for the KGB. Ruby shot Oswald to keep him from telling the truth. The list goes on. And on, and on, and on....
The theory I'm about to tell you about is not one of the more common one. But it is real, and people believe it.
The real killer of JFK was William Greer. He was the back-up shooter whose job it was was to finish what Oswald started.
So, who was William Greer? He was a special agent with the secret service. He was also driving the limo at the time Kennedy was shot.
People who have nothing better to do that make tinfoil hats and study the Zapruder film have decided they can clearly see Greer take his hand off the wheel, turn, and fire a handgun into Kenneys head.
If you watch the film, it is clear that Greer does, in fact, turn his head. So, there you have it! Conclusive proof that the secret service killed Kenny! I mean...Kennedy!
Now, I could easily debunk this theory. But I won't. I don't think I should have to...
But like I said before, I do not make these theories up. They are real, and people actually believe them.
And that's just sad. Very, very sad. But boy-howdy does it make great fodder for jokes!