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Otters Oddities

Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

It was owned by a little old lady who only drove it to church on Sundays!

Yeah....I don't think I want to go to that church. It's either in a really bad part of town, or the sermons get awfully spirited.


I mean, I could see a tank at a baptist church, but not a lutheran.*

It actually took me a long time to start typing this post. Not because I had writers block, but because this post is going to appear on Friday. And as always with my Friday post, I have to spend too much time deciding if I'm kickin' in the front seat or stiitin' in the back.**


Anyhoo....on to todays post.

Have you ever shopped on the internet? I have. I buy most of my stuff, except for groceries, off the internet. There's nothing you can't buy. I mean nothing.


Places like the former Silk Road, and whatever site replaced it, will allow you to buy drugs. There are sites where you can buy guns, cars, houses. Anything you want. Ebay and Amazon will sell you whatever you want.

There are places where you can buy people! Actual human beings!

But today, I am going to tell you about the oddest thing you can buy on the internet. Before I saw this was available, I never knew I needed one. In fact, I don't need one. I have zero use for it. But still, I want it....


What I'm talking about is, of course, the Chef'n Bananza Banana Slicer! This thing is absolutely amazing!

It slices! And....uh.....slices.....


I guess I wasn't aware that there was a problem with slicing bananas. I mean, I hold the banana and a butter knife in my hands and, well....slice it. It's not rocket science. Plus, bananas are really soft. If you struggle slicing a banana, you're doing it wrong.


OK, I guess I've seen some of the reality shows out there, and I realize that for some, slicing a banana would be a challenge. (I'm looking at you Honey Boo-Boo!) But do we really need a special tool to slice a banana?

All right. I'll admit it, todays post ins't just about the banana slicer. It's also about the fact that you can buy a tank. Online. For less than you'd think.


Doing a simple search brings up several sites where they are selling surplus military armored vehicles. And the crazy part is, it's all 100% legal!

Take for example, this page. Granted, it's military surplus, but that doesn't mean they aren't still a viable weapon.


For those that don't know military vehicles, the T-72 offered for sale is a main battle tank. It was produced by the Soviets, and later the Russians after the fall of the Iron Curtain. It was replaced by the T-80, which is still in production today.

While it's at a disadvantage, it is still a formidable target for Americas current tank, the M1A1 and M1A2. Most of the tanks America fought against in Iraq were T-72's. Many current militaries still use T-72's as their main armor component.


So, it is far from an obsolete tank.

And you can buy one from the Czech Republic for as little as $46,000. The guns on them need to be demilitarized so they are rendered useless. What this entails depends on your country. However, replacing the gun isn't impossible for someone with a little bit of skill with a CNC machine.


And, yes. It is legal to own in the US. Sure, you need to fill out paper work, just as you would with any other gun, but you can buy one, and even drive it around. (not on the highways or most public streets without permit)

And hell, if you're going to buy a tank, might as well buy a grenade launcher to go with it. Because yes, the M203 40mm grenade launcher is perfect;y legal to purchase and own. (you do have to pay an extra $200 transfer fee to the BATF)


I fully support a persons second amendment right to own guns. And, I could be considered by some to be crazy. But even I think we need to draw the line somewhere. Tanks and grenade launchers might just be that spot.

Well....maybe grenade launchers. I do want one of the tanks.....I'd put a mowing deck on it and start a business called "Crazy Ivans Crazy Lawn Care". My motto? "Either you're satisfied, or I blow up your car!"


* Lutherans are about the most sedate of all religious groups you'll ever meet.

** Yeah....I cracked a Rebecca Black joke. And I'm not even sorry.

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