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Otters Oddities

Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

I'm SUPER cereal!

C'mon guys! Why won't you believe me? I'm cereal, and no one will listen!

Maybe I should grow a beard and sing the lumberjack song....Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok! I sleep all night and I work all day, I'm cereal!


Oh, Al Gore, you wacky little fruit knob. What would we do with out Al, though? He sure does supply us with a few good laughs, right?

Like, remember when he claimed he invented the internet? know.....that actually sounds like something I could use for todays post....


It is, after all, Totally Trippy Theory Thursday! This is the most anticipated post of the week!* I will tell you about a conspiracy theory. Not one that I believe, rather, one that someone, somewhere, believes. Remember, I don't make these up. It isn't Monday. All theories are real, and that's just sad.

Al Gore did not, ever, claim he invented the internet. (hmm....hind sight...should have used this last Monday and tied it in with todays post.) In an interview with Wolf Blitzer, (best video game hero name ever!), he said:

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.


What he meant was, he was responsible for spurring congress into backing and funding the technology that allowed the internet to flourish. He was one of the first politicians to realize the potential of the internet. And his choice of words was unfortunate, but 'create' and 'invent' means two different things.

Most people will say the internet was invented by Tim Berners-Lee while working at CERN. But that would be wrong.


You see, the real inventor of the internet is the subject of todays post. And that man's name was.......

Jeshua Ben-Joseph.

You may know him better by his alias, Jesus.

Didn't learn that in Sunday School, did you‽

Ok, this theory needs a little explanation. (you think?)

No one is claiming Jesus actually invented the internet. What they are saying is, Jesus predicted the advent of the internet. Really! It's in the bible and everything!


The relevant story is in the Parable of the Net, Mathew 13: 47-49.

Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish. When it was full, the fishermen pulled it up on the shore. Then they sat down and collected the good fish in baskets, but threw the bad away. This is how it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come and separate the wicked from the righteous.


It all makes sense now, right? See, The 'net' is your computer browser, the 'lake' is the World Wide Web, and the 'fish' is the information you find.

Now does it make sense?

Parable of the Net? Internet? The Net?

NOW do you get it?

Yeah. Me neither....

Like I said before, these theories don't really need to make any sense. They just have to be believed by someone, somewhere.


And, yes. I realize I'm doing a lot of biblical themed theories. Well, get used to it. I got a ton of them.

* Not by any real people, just the imaginary person who lives with me that I argue with when I really want to win.

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