Satan? No, I'm not Satan. I'm...uh...I'm the....uh...President! Yeah! That's it! I'm the President of the United States! That's the ticket!
Oh, how I miss SNL back when it was funny...And zip it! It's not funny now. It just sucks slightly less than a few years ago, that's all.
The funny thing about that picture is, when ever I look at it, I don't see John Lovitz dressed as the devil. I see Michael Palin dressed as the Grand Inquisitor. (say it with me....NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!)
I like Monty Python. Normal people do. Abnormal mutant weirdo freaks don't like Monty Python. It's in the Constitution! Srsly!
But I think it's time to move onto todays oddity. And this is a special oddity because it marks the very first Totally Trippy Theory Thursday! Thursdays are the day I find a conspiracy theory that's just....wow. All the theories I will be telling you about are 100% real, and there are people who actually believe them.
Todays theory involves two things I've already mentioned: Satan and the President.
There is biblical proof that Obama is the Devil. Jesus himself said it. And if Jesus said it, it must be true. The United States is being led by Satan, and we're all damned.
The passage in question is Luke 10:18. It says:
And I said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.
I know what you're thinking. Obama isn't mentioned in that verse. But wait! This is a conspiracy theory, and and I'm just getting started!
Using an incorrect translation of english into hebrew, 'lightning' and 'heaven' become Barq and Bahma. (the correct translation is shamayim). Now, if you say them out loud, it sounds like 'Bark Bahma'. And if you mispronounce them just a bit and say them fast, they sound like 'Barak Bahma'. Which, as everyone knows, will be heard as 'Barack Obama'.
So, right there, in plain english, with only one bad translation and two mispronunciations, Jesus himself called the president Satan.
Hmm...I should have told you that logic doesn't really have much of a role in these theories...
Ah well. I never said they would make sense. I only said there are people who believe them. And that's just sad. Funny, but sad.