But we're never gonna survive unless, We get a little crazy! No we're never gonna survive unless, we get a little cray-ay-ay-ay-zy!
The...the voices in my head! They tell me...."Eat all the cookies!". So I do! But it's not my fault! It's the voices...the voices!
And for some reason, they all sound like Elmo.....
I shouldn't make fun of people who hear voices in their heads. Think about how scary that would be. You hear someone say something, and there's no one there. And when you finally realize you're the only one who can hear them, they tell you to do evil things, like eating all the cookies.
I do know some people who not only hear voices in their heads, but they believe them. Well....I don't know them personally, but I know of them.
For the last couple of days, I've told you stories about how the Jesuits are responsible for much of the bad that happened in the twentieth century. And I didn't even scrape the surface when it comes to the evil the Jesuits did. (allegedly..) I mean, they killed Lincoln and Kennedy. They faked the moon landings. They started Islam. They were behind 9/11....
Today, I'm going to give the Jesuits a break, though. I'm even going to redeem them a little.
This conspiracy theory is one that I can't even comprehend. Not the theory itself. It's fairly straightforward. The hard part I have understanding is how a person can believe it and still be alive! I mean, well...how can someone with a functioning brain believe these things?
Here's an idea of how unbelievable it is: I almost told you about the theory that the Iraq war in 2003 was started because Bush wanted to take control of the Stargate that Saddam had. MmmHmm. You read that right. A Star. Gate. Like the ones in the movie and TV shows. That's how crazy todays theory is. I rejected the stargate as too believable.
For eons, Gods chosen people have been denied their rightful home; The land of Canaan. Every time the people of Abraham tried to move back home, those pesky people who already lived there refused to give it up!
As a result, the Semitic people wandered, homeless, for ages. And in their wanderings, they discovered and settled North America. (what? never read the book of Mormon?)
Finally, the council that controlled all of Judaism decided enough was enough. (there's always a small council who leads from the shadows, right?). They decided it was time to retake their home land once and for all. And this time, they were going to have the world do it for them.
So, what did they do? They called their friends, the Jesuits.
No no no...I'm joking. They didn't call the Jesuits. Instead, they called a disaffected member of their religion, and convinced him it was time for the Jews to move back to the Holy Land. They laid out a plan for him to implement, and since he hated his jewish grandfather, he decided to go along with the idea.
So, Hitler began killing Jews from all over Europe. In fact, that's why he invaded Poland. To get the jews so he could kill them. And also why he invaded Russia. To get the jews. The rest of Europe? More jews.
And the jewish elders couldn't have been happier. Here was this stooge killing all the jews he could get his hands on! If this didn't tell the world the jewish people needed their own state, nothing would!
Now, the jewish elders weren't totally evil. Only mostly. The numbers of jews killed were greatly exaggerated to stir the world to their side. In reality, only 20-30,000 jews were killed. The rest were hidden away by the jewish elders. And the ones that were killed were the ones that caused the council problems anyway. So, it was just some house cleaning on their part.
And, their plan worked. The world believed the grossly inflated numbers, and forced the arabs to allow the jews to have Israel.
I wan't to note; I in no way believe this theory in any way, shape or form. About the only truthful part of it is Hitlers grandfather might actually have been jewish. But he also might not. I tell you this theory not to try and convince you that it's real, but to show you how crazy some people are, and some of the crazy things they believe.
This was the craziest theory I could dig up for tonight. So you got it. I hope you enjoyed it. I also hope you've enjoyed the last three days of oddities. While they weren't my usual type of oddity, I feel they still qualified.
I asked yesterday if you guys wanted to see more theory posts. I got a couple of 'yes please!'. So, I'm thinking of adding something to my week. I will be keeping Made Up Monday and Tell The Truth Tuesday because I enjoy them. But how would you guys feel about Totally Trippy Theory Thursdays? I would find conspiracy theories to share with you on Thursdays. Of course, I'll try to find the oddest ones, ones you've never heard of before. Ones like I've shared this week.
Let me know in the comments. After all, you guys are the ones who have to read this crap, right? Also, I wouldn't object if a particularly good oddity was shared on other blogs. If you think others would enjoy it, feel free to share. Otherwise, I;m just going to have to copy/paste all my past posts and self-publish a book on Amazon....and no one wants that.