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Otters Oddities

Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

Run for your lives! The CommiNazis are coming! Um...Nazunists? Comzis?

Really bad people are coming!

Yeas friends, it's election season again. I'm not implying our politicians are communists or nazis. I won't insult the commies and nazis like that.....


I could go on a super-duper long tirade about politicians, but what's the point? I'd never be able to change anyones political views. Politics and religion. The two things people have to decide for themselves. No matter how hard you try, you'll never convince someone they're wrong on either subject.

As hard as I try to avoid them, I get sucked into discussions like that. If someone want's to know my stance, fine. I'll tell them. I'll even listen to theirs. But when they start to tell me how I'm wrong.....Like I said, I try not to get into that. But sometimes, people are so wrong, I can't help it. (there's a difference between believing a fact, and believing an opinion. When people try to pass of opinion as fact, I get all worked up)


And that brings us to today. Remember yesterday? I told you how the catholic church had the Titanic sunk? (they didn't really. It's just a whacked out conspiracy theory that some people believe). It was done so the Jesuits could form the Federal Reserve.

Why would they want a governmental bank, Brain? Why, to do the same thing they do every night Pinky; To try to take over the world!


And the first step in taking over the world was to re-unify the church. In 1054 the catholic church was split. There was a divisive rift over the popes authority, clerical marriage and the doctrine of the Trinity. As a result, the dissenters split away and formed the Eastern Orthodox Church.

If you attend a catholic mass, and then an eastern orthodox mass, you'll notice they are very similar. The schism splitting them really isn't that severe, but with religion......well, there's no changing peoples views.


One thing the papacy has is, a very long memory. And, like any good member of the mob*, the ability to hold a grudge for a long, long, long time.

After the Jesuits got the bank up and running in America, the church decided it was time to do something about that Eastern Orthodox Church. And that was to kill the leader of the church, the Patriarch. With the Patriarch out of the way, the rest of the church members could be easily re-absorbed into the catholic church. And then the world would be theirs!


There was one large roadblock in the way; Czar Nicholas II. While the Russian royal family were alive, the patriarch was under their protection. So the Czar had to go, too.

To do this, the Jesuits funneled cash from the Federal Reserve to a group called the Bolsheviks. And the Jesuits had three of their Russian agents, Marx, Engels and Lenin, stage a communistic revolution.


Years were spent planning, and finally the horrors of the first world war allowed the communists to stage their revolt. The Czar and his family were arrested, and Lenin came to power. The Czar et al were turned over to the Jesuits, and for the next year and a half, the attempt was made to get them to convert back to the original church. Realizing they never would, the Jesuits, not the revolutionaries, killed the Russian royal family.

Here's where the plan hit a speed bump. The patriarch had his own intelligence service. And he knew all about the plans of the pope. So when the bolsheviks came, finally, to kill him, he offered a deal instead. He explained how they were being manipulated by the Jesuits and how the church would put them aside once the patriarch was dead. So the patriarch offered them a better deal.


In exchange for the bolsheviks leaving the eastern church alone, he gave them a large pile of gold from the royal treasury and a promise to keep the church out of the governments affairs.

And in that one action, the popes plan failed.It was time for plan B.

And the pope had one. Since communism failed, it was time to get another -ism rolling.


The Jesuits recruited a failed artist named Adolf Hitler and filled his head with the belief that he, and only he could unite Europe.

But they rushed his early stage. Hitler was young and foolish and ended up in jail. While they worked to have him released, they wrote his autobiography, 'Mein Kampf', for him. Then using the funds from the Federal Reserve, they financed his National Socialist party and helped him rise to power. The Jesuits, not Hitler, controlled the Gestapo. And the Jesuits supplied the Nazis with all the juicy information their priests picked up during confessions.


To help Hitler unite Europe, the Jesuits also had Mussolini and Franco put into power. Together, the three of them would run Europe in the name of the Pope.

Again, a snag was hit. The persecution of the jewish people was the idea of the Jesuits. The original plan wasn't to exterminate them, though. Their lives were to be made miserable. So miserable that the jews would return to Palestine where they would fight with the arabs until the pope stepped in to create peace.


In retaliation for the double-cross from a few years earlier, the Jesuits had Hitler invade Russia to wipe out the communists.

Shortly after the Russian invasion, Hitler decided to kill the jews instead of just driving them off. So the church had to remove all support for Hitler. And that's why the Germans lost the war.


One bonus the church did get out of the world war they started was, they finally got their revenge on Japan. With the war going on, the Jesuits used their agents to coerce the Japanese into attacking America. The church knew that the Japanese could not beat America, and that they would never surrender.

Jesuit agents in the American government pushed the building of the atomic bomb, and were instrumental in convincing Truman dropping them was the right thing to do.


Why would the church want to blow the Japanese into oblivion? During the 1500's, the Japanese drove Jesuit missionaries from their shores for trying to convert people.

Remember, the church knows how to hold a grudge.

* The church and the mob are connected. Well, they were. I don't know if they still are, but they were.


*Authors Note*

I'm having a good time with these conspiracy theories. I think I'll do one more tomorrow and just end the week like this. Who knows.....maybe I'll do more next week. Maybe not. Let me know in the comments if you want to hear more completely whacked out theories.

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