AAAHHH!!!!!! I'm late! I'm late! I'm....ok, running just a bit behind schedule.
For whatever reason, I have only a few minutes to get this post out on time. Some call it being busy, but I'll call it what it really is: laziness. Last night, I had plenty of time to do this, but I got sidetracked by....well.....everything else. For some reason, I just didn't feel like typing. And now, you get a hastily produced post.
It'll still make you chuckle, though.
Yesterdays oddity was a bit of a downer. So, while todays is a quickie, it'll make you smile. And when writing about war, that's a chore.
Only it's not. Not this time, at least.
In WWII, the Nazis were well known for not giving a damn about the people they conquered. And the Norwegians were no exceptions.
The Atlantic coast of Norway is a rough place to live. They survive on fish. Pickled fish, mostly. It's hard to keep fish fresh for long periods. So, they pickle fish like sardines, and they came up with lutefisk. (oh God.....the horror...THE HORROR!)
Anyway, the Norwegians would harvest tons and tons of sardines every year. They were then pickled in oil, and that's mainly what the locals ate to supplement daily catches.
So when the Nazis said they were confiscating the entire catch, the natives were upset.
Informants for the resistance who worked in the government discovered the sardines were to be used to supply the U-Boats. So the Norwegian resistance sent an urgent request to England: Send us an undetectable laxative, ASAP!
So, the English in charge of helping the resistance said, "Wait...why would they...NO! I don't even want to know. Just send it."
And send it they did. Gallons of Croton oil.
The Norwegians smuggled the croton oil into the processing plants and mixed it with the regular oil the sardines were preserved with. And the entire seasons catch of sardines were then packaged in a laxative. A very powerful one.
Off the tins of sardines went, where they resupplied the crews manning Germanys U-Boats.
Picture in your head, if you will, what it was like to serve on a U-Boat. Lots of men in a small, cramped area. It was usually hot, and when running silent to keep fro being killed, you had to stay submerged. Which means, your air exchangers only recycled the existing air.
Now picture the crew of 40 men crapping their brains out with explosive diarrhea. Also imagine what it had to have been like to stay submerged to avoid detection with that miasma lingering in the air.
Who knew the Norwegian resistance was manned by 10 year old boys?
Well, the English did. That's why they asked no questions when the laxative was requested.
Earlier on in the war, the English had the brilliant idea of sending out the resistance some industrial strength itching powder. This was to be given to the people dong the militaries laundry. And it was, and it proved to be an annoyance to the Germans.
But the Norwegians took it one giant step further.
The town of Trondheim was used by the Germans as a rest and relaxation city. And one of the things they did was to let their hair down and get freaky with the local ladies. As a result, the Germans made it the responsibility of the local government, who didn't like the Germans, to ensure there was a supply of condoms for the troops to use.
The 10 year olds in charge of the resistance made sure there were plenty of condoms. And that all of them had a special ingredient inside; Industrial strength itching powder.
Now, here's the really funny part: When German troops first started showing up at the doctors with the red, itchy wieners, the doctors thought there was some new venereal disease going around. So they ordered all soldiers to use condoms under or risk courts marshal.
Gotta love 10 year old boys.....