Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.

I think that's a woman. You can tell by the profile. But these days? Who knows. It could be a man dressed like a woman. Or it could be a woman trapped in a mans body.

Or, it could be a turtle. Seriously. Those guys are ninjas. And that means they're masters of disguise.


Well, the turtles aren't. I mean, they're idea of a disguise is to wear a trench coat and a fedora. So, if your idea of a disguise is to dress like a creepy dude, then, mission accomplished.

How did I start talking about turtles? You people really need to keep me focused on the subject! I've been doing these posts for over a year now, and you should realize that I'm easily distr....SQUIRELL!

Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Chicken eggs. Who was the first person to eat one? I'm trusting they saw it in a nest first, and only discovered where they came from later. I mean, really, can you imagine someone walking around thinking, "I'm going to eat the next thing I see come out of that birds butt!"

Bad joke, I know. Ask me if I care.

Have you ever seen a woman and wondered who she was? Or, have you maybe just heard about a woman and wondered who she was? Chances are, unless you're me, no. You probably haven't. I tend to think about some....different, and obscure things.


And that's the subject of todays oddity. A mystery woman. A fairly important woman, too. I mean, she was the wife of the first person ever born, after all.

We're talking bible here, so things may get a little weird. Don't take this post as any form of condemnation about what the bible says. If someone believes the bible, hey, that's just fine by me. But beware: I will be poking a hole in it so large you can drive a truck through it.


According to the bible, the first person born was Cain. You all remember Cain. The first person to be born, the first person to commit murder, the first person to do....well....a lot of things.

But, one of the things he wasn't the first at was, having kids. That was Adam and Eve. But we know Cain had a son. How do we know?


Think about it.

If you believe the bible, God created Adam and Eve, who in turn created everyone else, starting with their sons, Cain and Able.


Now, does anyone see where I'm going with this?

How did Cain have a son? He must have had help, right? Well, he did. He had a wife.


But wait! Where did Cain get a wife?

Sadly, the bible won't say. This has led some biblical scholars to speculate that Cains wife was from another tribe of peoples God created but didn't like. Others have speculated that she was another species. (biblical scholars will come up with the wildest theories to explain inconsistencies in the bible...)


The thing is, we do, actually. know who Cains wife was, and where she came from.

The bible, you see, is not strictly a book like War and Peace. That is, it didn't have just one author. The bible is a compilation of books by several people and they were written over the course of hundreds of years. In some cases, we don't even know who wrote what.


So the bible is an anthology. And it's editors were the leaders of the early church. And they were terrible editors.

They wen't through all the known books and decided which ones to include and which ones to leave out. Many were left out because they leaders of the church didn't like what the stories said. For example, the Gospels of Mary describe how Jesus was married to Mary Magdaline. Early church officials didn't like that idea, so they struck it out of the bible, relegating Mary to obscurity, even though she may have been very important in Jesus life.


Another book they decided to leave out was the Book of Jubilees. The reason? Well, for one, it tells us more about the beginning of things. It goes into details that Genesis doesn't. And early church leaders decided too much information would confuse the masses, so they continued the policy of keeping people ignorant, so they would follow and bey like sheep.

One of the things the Book of Jubilees tells us is, the identity of Cains wife. Her name was Awan. And she dutifully bore him the son, Enoch. It also tells us where Awan came from.


She was the daughter of Adam and Eve. That's right, Cain married his own sister and fathered a child with her. That's what the church wanted to keep from the masses.

The Book of Jubilees could be subtitled "How to score with your sister".

Now, don't get all huffy with me. It's not my fault we're all the result of incest. Massive amounts of incest, if you believe the bible. (lesser amounts if you believe evolution, but it's still there). For Adam and Eve to populate the world, there had to be a ton of incest. In fact, according to the bible, every relationship is incestuous. They have to be. Unless you're willing to accept that we descended from more than just Adam and Eve. Which the church isn't.


So, the church just ignores it.

Like I said, I have no problem with people who believe the bible. They can believe whatever they want. I, personally, enjoy having them believe, because I can then point out the flaws to them. (like Cain schtuping his sister. And Lots daughters seducing him....and....oh holy crap! There's a lot of incest in the bible!)

Share This Story

Get our newsletter