If you're on the highway and Road Runner goes beep beep.
Just step aside or might end up in a heap.
Road Runner, Road Runner runs on the road all day.
Even the coyote can't make him change his ways.

Road Runner, the coyote's after you.
Road Runner, if he catches you you're through.
Road Runner, the coyote's after you.
Road Runner, if he catches you you're through.

That coyote's really a crazy clown,
When will he learn he can never mow him down?
Poor little Road Runner never bothers anyone,
Just runnin' down the road's his idea of having fun.

That was always one of my favorite theme songs for a cartoon. Of course, it was only on the Road Runner Show, which was a Saturday morning staple for years on....um....NBABCBS...one of those.

Back in the good old days where you only had 5 or 6 channels, PBS, CBS, ABC, NBC and one or two local/UHF stations. But man! They knew how to pander to kids, didn't they? Starting at 5am, the three major networks started showing cartoons. And they played them continuously until noon or 1pm.

But it was a different time then. Saturday mornings was the main time to get kids attention to sell them crap. And cartoons were the perfect marketing vehicle for the crap they were selling.


And, it had to be cartoons. None of the live-action shows lasted very long. Well, except for the ones by Sid and Marty Croft. But they were so drugged out, they were like cartoons anyway.

These days you hear about how violence on tv is causing kids to be violent. Cartoons get a lot of flack especially. The only problem with that theory is, while regular tv may be more violent today, 40 years ago, cartoons were a thousand times more violent then they are today. Look at Tom and Jerry. 100% violence from start to finish.

And what effect did that violence have on us when we were kids? None, really. We were able to tell the difference between real violence and fake violence. Maybe that's because we saw real violence on the nightly news in the form of race riots and Vietnam.


An argument could be made that with modern tv shows showing more realistic violence, it could have an effect on people. Desensitize them to it and all that. But I still think it's mostly bull.

40 years ago, when a young child acted up, they were punished in whatever way the parent deemed proper. If it was a grounding, or spanking, or whatever. When we were punished, it was a punishment.

Today, kids get a 'time out'. Or the get sent to their room to 'think about what you've done'.


The difference between the two is, when we were punished 40 year ago, it hurt. It was a negative consequence to our actions that we really didn't want to have happen, so we avoided it by not breaking the rules. And if we got sent to our rooms, we didn't have cell phones, iPads, XBoxes, tvs and what not to entertain us. Instead, we had the threat of 'You just wait until your father get's home!' hanging over our heads.Something to worry about, even if dad didn't do anything.

Punishments today aren't about negative reinforcement. If you don't connect bad behavior with something undesirable at an early age, kids will not learn that there are consequences.

I'm not saying parents should beat their kids. But beating a child and spanking a child are two different things. A spank doesn't have to be all that forceful to get the point across. One or two swats on the butt is usually good enough. Spanking isn't about causing pain. It's about doing something to a child they don't want to teach them what they did was wrong. If you spank your child and end up bruising their butt, you're doing it wrong. If it causes a minor redness that's gone in 5 minutes, you're doing it right.


But, that's just my opinion. Right or wrong.

One thing I know that's not my opinion is todays subject: Roadrunner cartoons lied to us!

They did. Although, if they hadn't, each RR cartoon would have been about 5 seconds long and about half of them would have scarred children for life.


What it boils down to is, a Roadrunner has a top speed of 20mph. Not bad, right? Except, a coyote has a top speed of 43mph. More than twice as fast as the roadrunner.

So, if the roadrunner decided to run down the middle of the highway, like he does in the cartoons, it wouldn't take very long for the coyote to catch him. So, it's a goof thing real roadrunners don't do that. They like to run in a zig-zag pattern amongst the scrub brush. Their constant dodging turning, combined with their natural camouflage, makes them a little harder to catch.

But the actual speeds of the animals isn't why the cartoons wouldn't last long. No, they wouldn't last long because of the way coyotes hunt roadrunners. They sneak up on them. Sometimes the coyote gets the roadrunner, but sometimes the roadrunner does what other birds do: it flies away.


That's right, for some reason the Roadrunner keeps forgetting he's a bird. And while they don't really like to fly they much, they are very good at it. The are like a wild turkey. Their bodies are made more for walking than flying. But even a turkey can fly surprisingly well.

Turkeys you see on farms don't fly because they ave had their wings clipped. But in the wild, turkeys will fly when they need to. And so will a roadrunner.

So remember this the next time you watch cartoons: Just because they show it, that doesn't mean it's trie,