I have no money, so please don't sue me, because I'm not making fun of your made up religion. Only your founder.
I know, I generally start with a joke, but not today. Today, I'm serious. This is not a post about Scientology, that made up science fiction story trying to pass it's self off as a religion.
No, this is a post about the man who would one day write the story that people are trying to pass off as a religion. And since everything I'm about to write is 100% true, you can't sue me into oblivion.
But first, the answer to yesterdays Made Up Monday.
Made it up. All of it. I have no idea if there was even a watch maker named Ernst Strugman. I just sat down and started typing, and that yarn is what came out.
But I should stop wasting time. I'm sure that intro bit I wrote has you all wondering what todays post is all about.
If you are wondering, go back and re-read it. I thought it was pretty clear that I was going to be dissing L. Ron Hubbard in this post and that the Scientologists can't sue me because it's all 100% true and you can't sue me for stating fact, no matter how bad it makes your founder look.
Reading comprehension: It's a good thing.
World War II was an event that caught the attention of most people in America. One of those Americans was L. Ron Hubbard. Like most men his age, he served in the military. Hubbard was in the Navy, and he was in command of PC-815, which was a sub chaser.
In May of 1943, Hubbard was ordered to take his ship from Portland Oregon to San Diego. At 3:40 am on May 19th, his ship picked up what Hubbard believed to be a Japanese sub. At 9:00 am, two blimps were dispatched to help the search for the sub.
Hubbards sonar kept getting sporadic hits from the target, so it was thought the Japanese sub was sticking close to the area for some reason. So, by midnight on May 21, there was a fairly good sized force looking for the sub. It included Hubbards sub chaser, the two blimps, two Navy cruisers and two Coast Guard cutters. Between them, they dropped over 100 depth charges in an attempt to force the sub to the surface, or sink her.
After 68 hours, the military recalled everyone and sent them to port. This is because the commanders of the other vessels had finally figured out what Hubbard was chasing. It was a well charted magnetic outcropping on the sea floor.
It's unknown why Hubbard or the other officers never noticed they were 1) chasing a stationary target, or 2) the target they were chasing was clearly marked on their charts.
But it wasn't the only error on Hubbards record. Later in the war, Hubbard sparked a diplomatic incident by bombarding Mexico while on a patrol.
If you ask me, Hubbard was spending too much time chasing the moonbeam he named Scientology.