A stormtrooper and a Red Shirt walk into a bar. They have a few drinks and get into a fight. The Stormtrooper shoots at the Red Shirt, but misses. The RedShirt died anyway.

Generally I like starting my posts with a joke, or a witty comment. Just couldn't come up with one today....

Today is the fifth of May. Not a particularly special day. Which I'm kind of surprised about. Yesterday was the fourth of May, otherwise known as Star Wars Day. Generally those Star Trek fanboys won't let Star Wars fanboys have anything without usurping it. I mean, everyone knows, and it's a scientifically proven fact that Star Wars is much better that Star Trek.

And the best Star Wars movie is without a doubt, The Phantom Menace.

Ok....I could claim Star Wars beats Star Trek with a straight face, but I can in no way pretend The Phantom Menace is the best of the Star Wars movies. I think we can all agree that The Empire Strikes Back is the best. And if you don't agree, you're wrong.


There. That's enough flame bait to get the never ending was between the franchises going. A battle which I don't understand. I'm a fan of both, and don't understand why people have to choose one over the other.

Sure, they both have their faults. Like Jar Jar Binks. Or the latest movie, Star Trek: Attack of the Lens Flare.


But that's all besides the point. Today is everybodys favorite day: Made Up Monday! Let's start with the facts:

Yesterday was Star Wars Day. In celebration I have todays post. There are a lot of odd things about the Star Wars franchise that people may not know about. I'm going to tell you some.


Like, did you know Chewbacca died? In the official Star Wars canon, Chewie died saving Han Solos son, Anakin, in the book Primal Vector by R.A. Salvatore. This death was approved by George Lucas himself. Well, Salvatore wanted to kill off a main character, and asked if he could kill Luke off. Lucas sent back a list of people that were not to be killed. Chewie didn't make the cut. So, he died.

Everyone knows and loved the little Jedi master, Yoda. In his 900 years, he helped train just about every Jedi. But did you know Yoda was his last name? His first name is Minch. Minch Yoda. Lucas decided to omit that reference from the original movies though. He wanted Yoda to remain a mystery.


One thing a lot of people dislike about the original trilogy was the use of the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi. I'm one of them. I think they were needlessly cute and fluffy, and it was hard to take them seriously as fighters. But they weren't intended to even be there. The Ewoks were originally supposed to be a refugee army of Wookies who settled on Endor after fleeing Kashyyyk.

Jar Jar Binks was the worst villain in the entire series. And not just because he was annoying. In episode 1, Jar Jar was originally intended to be duplicitous and betray Qui Gon and Obi Wan. Lucas decided to make him comic relief instead. However, his true nature resurfaced in episode 2. In the scene where Jar Jar stands in for Amidala at the meeting of the senate, it is Jar Jar who suggest Palpatine be given supreme powers. It was those powers that allowed Palpatine to become the Emperor.


One of the scenes that made episode 5 the best was the asteroid chase scene. The Millennium Falcon zipped through the asteroid belt, eluding tie fighters. But, if you look very carefully, you'll see that in one sequence, one of the asteroids is actually a potato. While in another, there's a shoe. This is because the crew in charge of the asteroids were getting frustrated with the amount of changes Lucas kept demanding.

Oola, the Twilek slave girl in Jabbas palace had a racy costume. If yo ulook closely, after she is dropped into the Rancor pit, you can see her mesh top doesn't really hide the fact that Lucas had a strict 'No Underwear' policy while on set. But if you think that's as titillating as it get's, wrong. (see what I did there?) In the scene just before that, when Jabba pulls Oola towards him with her chain, as she struggles, Righty McBoobie decides to make a cameo in the movie. And, yes, it survived all edits of the film. It's on all the VHS and DVD releases, so get to pausing, nerd-boys.


And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, the made up part of Made Up Monday.

The lead sound effects guru, Ben Brett, is known to have used several common items to make his uncommon sounds for the movie. Such as using a muted microphone near a TV to make the sound of a light saber. Or hitting a telephone pole guide wire with a stick to make the laser sounds. Chewie was a combination of animal sounds and R2D2 was baby noises filtered to sound like electronic whistles.


But, the only sound in the entire franchise that matters is the one closest to my heart. And that is the sound of the Tauntauns. The sound is that of an Asian Sea Otter. Didn't know I was famous, did you? Or, am I?

Is the sound of a tauntaun really just an unmodulated sea otter? Or is it something else?


As always, the answer will magically appear tomorrow.