Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

Wait.....I have today off.....why is my alarm going off?

T'was the day before the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even otter, that louse.

The stockings were hung on the mantle with care,

but otter's cat's took the challenge, and now they're not there.

Otter was nestled all snug in his bed,

when the buzz of his alarm shot through his tired head.

With the cats all stretched out, asleep on the quilt,

Otter got up, and his clock he done kill't.

When out on the lawn there arose a loud noise,

the neighbors were playing with their snowmobile toys.

Away to the window I flew like a bird,

I opened it up and yelled a very naughty word.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,

t'was their father I told them that they could go blow.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but little mounds of poop, left by some deer.

Such tiny small piles, so smelly and thick,

they reminded me of my smelly friend Nick.

More rapid than eagles, the stench it arose,

The neighboring boys were knocked off their toes.

"Oh nasty! Oh scuzzy! How disgusting and gross!

I'll vomit! All over! Then clean up with a hose!

Clean up that crap, all over your lawn!

Do it now, do it now, and don't take too long!"

And with a big shovel, like a wild hurricane flies,

I gathered that poop, and tossed it to the skies.

And up to their housetop, the poopies they flew,

and the carried along with them, that horrible smell, too!

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof,

the rolling back down of each tiny small poop.

As I covered my head and ducked back in the house,

I heard the poop splat, and the neighbors begin to grouse!

They were covered in poop, from their head to their toes,

and you could smell them coming, even with a plugged up nose.

From a bundle of toys they took baseball bats,

and threatened my safety, so I attacked with my cats.

Their eyes got all wide, their smiles, they faded,

as the cats silently crouched, and patiently waited.

Their cheeks went pale, their faces all white,

for they knew my cat's well, and were afraid of the fight.

They attempted to retreat, backing up in the snow,

but silently stalking, my cat's, they did go.

One pulled out a pipe and asked through chattering teeth,

if I would forget it, and share with them some of their reef.

He had a sorry little face and a little round belly,

that shook with his fear, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was frightened and scared, like small baby mouse,

which was a mistake with the cat's out of the house.

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

and suddenly he knew, he had something to dread.

He spoke not a word, but for his door he did run,

and that's when the cat's joined in all the fun.

They clawed up his face and the side of his nose,

his neck they did bite, and it bled like a hose.

He fell to the ground and his body did twitch,

and my cat's finished the job, burying him in the ditch.

So I turned to the other, and he was shaking with fright,

"Don't disturb Otters sleep, or you'll have a bad night!"

**apologies to Clement Moore**

I decided to take today off. I thought it was silly to have Saturday and Sunday off, Work Monday, then have Tuesday and Wednesday off.


So, instead of an oddities post, I present just an odd post.


Share This Story

Get our newsletter