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Otters Oddities

Illustration for article titled Otters Oddities

Look, up in the.....thing.....that, you know, thing that's up there....that holds the clouds and stars.


I remember when I was young, about 4 or 5, I first asked the question, "Why is the sky blue?". I don't remember the actual answer, but it was the typical bullshit about how god only had blue paint that day, or how rain comes from the sky, and water is blue, ergo, blue sky.

By the time I was in second grade, though, I knew the correct answer. No thanks to any adult. Not satisfied with the kiddie answers adults gave kids, I used the 1970's version of the internet, a library, and found out the answer myself. I knew why the sky was blue, or grey, or red. I understood light diffraction. I understood atmospheric effects. In second grade, I had the beginnings of an understanding of physics.


I also had a highly advanced reading level. (in kindergarten, I was reading at a junior high level. My older sister practiced her reading skills by teaching me to read beginning when I was 3. And I've been hooked on reading ever since. that's why I know so much odd crap)

But, I also remember having one question during that time that, no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find an answer for. Had the librarians known of my question, they could have pointed me to the answers, most likely. But, all my life, especially as a child, I distrusted the answers adults gave kids. (if a child asks me a difficult question, I give the actual answer. if they don't understand the answer, tough. I'm not going to make crap up to placate a child)


So, I kept my mouth shut. Question unasked. And it bugged me on and off for several years. It was just one of those questions that isn't really important, but bugged me until I found out the answer.

And now, I am going to share with you the knowledge I learned many years ago, and once the knowledge was attained, I promptly shoved it to the back of my mind.


I'm sure it's a question that exactly none of you has ever asked. And that question is:

Why is the sky called the sky?

The quick and simple answer is, around the year 1300, the Norse, who used the word 'heofon', (heaven), to describe that big blue thing above us, decided to change that. The Norse word for cloud was 'sky'. But, like languages do, sky went from meaning cloud, to meaning 'upper regions of air'.


There are no believable reasons for the change. All the explanations I could find dealt with mythology, or how the conversion of the Norse to christianity caused the change. I call bullshit on those reasons. It's just a tenured professors quick and easy way of saying, "I dunno...", without looking like a moron.

Many languages had words similar to sky. Saxon had 'scio', (region of the cloud), High German 'skuwo', (shadow), and Gothic 'skuggwa', (mirror). In Middle English, the word heofon means both heaven and sky.


And, that's the simple answer. I'm not giving you the complicated answer because, I've already written more than I planed on. I was going to make an excuse about not feeling well, and dumping a quick fact off, but, you see how that worked out.

Jebus....even when I type, I ramble on.....

Now, I'm going to do something I haven't ever done before. I'm giving out homework.


I want all of you to open an internet web browser, and type in the address:

h t t p backslash, backslash, colon, w w w dot y o u t u b e dot c o m, and locate a rectangular box at the top of the page that has a magnifying glass next to it. Using your mouse, move it until the arrow is pointing at the box, and then click the left button on the mouse. And then, type the words: 'squeeze world's largest pimple'. Then hit your 'return' key. Select any of the videos that appear and watch it in it's entirety. Then write a 100 word essay and post it in the comments.


Actually, don't. I did that search, and it's gross. (I watched the first result, a huge cyst extraction, and I regret it.) And if otter calls something gross, you can bet it is. And if you do perform the search, and end up watching a video, do not post about it, because it shows you're a masochist. I do these gross things so you don't have to.

Although, if you're serious about losing weight, watch one of those videos right before eating. You won't be eating much for a while. Hell, you won't be squeezing the toothpate tube anytime soon.

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