"It's simple, really. Either I eat this cookie, or I eat you!"
Can you imagine Sesame Street if all the muppets were realistic? That would be....creepy. It would make for an awesome movie, though. Special filters on the cameras make them appear soft and cuddly, when they're actually fierce. Then have them escape.
Millions of traumatized children. That phrase is music to my ears.
You may say it'c cruel to traumatize children. And I would generally agree with you. However, the Food Police have caused my inner child to be traumatized. And all I want is to share the fun.
You see, someone noticed about 10 years ago that children were getting fat. I'm sorry, fat is the non-politcally correct term. I meant 'obese'. Anyway, they deduced the reason for all these obese children was....Cookie Monster. It was because Cookie Monster was always stealing and eating cookies that kids were getting fat. Sorry, obese.
So, a campaign was started, and Sesame Street was forced, yes forced, to make Cookie Monster stop eating cookies all the time.
No longer would you hear your second favorite* blue monster sing "C Is For Cookie".
Now he appears and tells kids that cookies are a sometimes food. Because, apparently kids need to tell their parents they aren't supposed to eat cookies like Cookie Monster does.
Family Guy parodied this incident when it happened by showing snippets of Cookie Monster in rehab, trying to quit cookies like they were a drug. He was seen denying the contraband found under his mattress, ("Dat's not mine!"), and by freebasing cookie dough while on the john.
This right there would make for a great oddities post. But it's not. It's just background in the recent history of everyones second favorite* blue monster.
Those of you who are observant realize what day it is. It's Made Up Monday!
No, that stuff above isn't the made up part. Like I said, it's all true. I just offered it as recent backgrounds. I'm sure every single one of us watched Sesame Street, so we're all familiar with the traditional Cookie Monster. Just trying to make up for the fact that he no longer sends out that letter no one reads in his Christmas cards.
Now we come to the part were you decide, made up or not:
As a child, I loved Cookie Monster. Still do, I suppose. He was my, as well as everyones second favorite* blue monster.
My parents, however, were smart enough to realize that when I was jumping up and down screaming "COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!", I wasn't asking for a cookie. I was merely showing my love for Cookie Monster. (My sister, The Weasel, liked Bert and Ernie. Even as a child I knew there was something wrong with them. After all, Ernie kept sticking bananas in his ear, and Bert's head was shaped like a banana.)
But as shown by my hyperactive example, I, like everyone else, thought his name was Cookie Monster. Little did we know that Cookie Monster was his job description, not his name.
Cookie Monster has a name. It's Sid.
So there you have it. That's your dilemma for today. Is Otter pulling your leg about Cookie Monsters name? Or is he telling you the truth?
Stay tuned for tomorrows post to find out.
* Yes, second favorite. It's been well established for years by the Supreme Court, Dali Lama and Bob, that everyones favorite blue monster is Grover. More specifically, Super Grover!