My name is Ottermann. Well, it's not really. My actual name is Jason. I feel safe telling you all this as I doubt any of you will decide to steal my identity, I mean, if you did, it might improve my credit rating, or something.
Anyhoo....the reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to trust me when I tell you things. If I'm honest about who I am, you will be more likely to believe me me when I tell you something.
An today, I have something very important to tell you.
And that is......copious amounts of beer makes you feel good.
If you don't believe me, drink a six pack, and then cook some pork chops in cream of mushroom soup and see how you feel.
I'll admit...I've had a little bit more than a six pack right now, but I'm certain my experiment is valid.
Do it now!
I don't really care. I'm feeling good on a Saturday night and cooking pork chops, so, poo too you.