Santa shouldn't have quit his day job.

    He's always watching.

    Even when he's wasted.

    Okay, maybe he's not watching ALL the time...

Advertisement

    He can be an emotional drunk.

    And he should stay off of Facebook.

Advertisement

    He also plays favorites.

    And kids shouldn't follow his example.

Advertisement

    Or else they'll grow to look like this.

    Or this.

Advertisement

    Or this.

    Sometimes he can fly a bit too low.

Advertisement

    "Kid... you're making me real nervous."

    "I just... I dunno man. Like, what's the point of being so jolly all the time?"

Advertisement

    A big, warm pile of Christmas!

    "RUDOLPH, GUIDE MY SLEIGH TONIGHT, DAMMIT!"

Advertisement

    "Santa's got some unpaid parking tickets for his sleigh..."

    Somebody was extra naughty this year.

Advertisement

    "I'm not even crying. We've passed that point on the terror scale."

    The spiked eggnog isn't the only thing Santa's hit too hard...

Advertisement

    Santa's feeling EXTRA jolly!

    But no matter how jolly he's feeling, keep your hands off his beard.

Advertisement

    OR ELSE!

    But he's still no match for Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Advertisement