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LLB: Star Wars Movies, Ranked

Illustration for article titled LLB: Star Wars Movies, Ranked

(The following list was determined by Colosson the Numberwang Robot and as the product of Maths cannot be argued with.)


1. Empire Strikes Back.

2. The Last Jedi.

3. A New Hope.

4. Rogue One.

5. The Force Awakens.

6. Going to any Star Wars movie with a friend who keeps asking you when Chris Hemsworth is going to swing his hammer.


7. Return of the Jedi.

8. Having a recurring nightmare that George Lucas has invented time travel and is going to use it to improve your childhood by taking out all the icky bits and adding in more Jar Jar.


9. Revenge of the Sith.

10. The Phantom Menace.

11. Going into your attic and finding that all of your Star Wars collectibles melted in the heat into a large Jabba-like mass on top of your Millennium Falcon.


12. Caravan of Courage.

13. Battle of Endor.

14. Realizing that not only is Star Wars killing off all of the characters you grew up with, but that the actors that played those characters are dying too, and that they abyss you are staring into is staring back at you.


15. Holiday Special.

16. Solo (except Lando ... Lando is cool).

17. George Lucas’s proposed sequels.


18. Fully understanding that a space opera that you enjoyed for a few years in your youth and still appreciate to this day is not only nothing more than more corporate IP that Disney is using to take over the world and everyone’s brains, but is also the breeding ground for a peculiar and nasty strain of nerd-rage with a side-dose of toxic masculinity that frightens the hell out of you.

19. Attack of the Clones.

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