You know how in 1997's Batman and Robin Mr. Freeze shows up and starts blasting everyone with his weird blue ice and making bad puns? I feel like that happened in America this week, somewhere, and we just haven't found out about it yet. What I'm trying to say is it's frigggggggggin cold out. Also I get the films of Joel Schumacher confused with reality.

In some ways, snow is the great equalizer. You stick an iPhone 6 on a roof in Buffalo or a Galaxy S5 on a roof in Buffalo and guess what? Both will be cold as SHIT the next morning. Sorry, fanboys.

I hope you guys stay warm this weekend, and I would like to remind you that if anyone owns or leases property in the Caribbean I am both willing and able to work remotely. Is anyone relocating to warmer climes this winter? Or is anyone reading this post and chortling at our plight from a sunny beachside villa?