Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Last one out of the Kinjaverse, turn out the lights.
Illustration for article titled Box Of Expense (or Does Anyone Actually Pay for Cable?)

A mere day ago, I was dogsitting for a friend (no, it doesn't involve sitting on the dog), and as I entered the underground portion of his hovel, I was shocked to see an ancorale buxum. More commonly known as "Cable Box", this rare species can most often be seen in the habitat of elderly homo sapiens, along with the equally rare "juice of prune". Outside of this unique habitat however, this bulky, silver box is more often considered a pest and a nuisance, costing more money than your average college student to support. In fact, a recent movement to eradicate this bothersome creature has come forward, as the cost of providing nourishment for "Cable Box" is simply too damn high.

And thusly, dear readers, I ask you: "Is there any justification to own one of these little creatures anymore?" No, A Game of Thrones is not a sufficient reason, though it is a strong one. With so many sub-species of "Cable Box" that are cheaper to own and much less costly to provide sustenance for, does ancorale buxum have a place in this world anymore? Or will the more invasive praeterlabor motio imitamen (more commonly known as, Streaming Motion Picture) completely replace this species? Does anyone here still pay for cable?


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