Hey, look! It's another day! Oh how grand, how glorious, how...


...soggy. At least around these parts. And, people are starting to get sick all around me. Now see, I know that the thing that people call The Crud and act like it's a viral thing that goes around about 80% of the time is more of an irritant-spawned, not necessarily contagious sinus slime washing through your membranes like an ocean of What The Yuck. I know full well that the "viruses" or "flu" or "colds" that people claim they have are often attributable to the sharing of environmental conditions. I know that just because they are sad messes of mucus, it does not mean I will become so.

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But there is that other 20%, and it invokes an ire in me beyond anything a body should know when those mofos breathe on me. Manners, people. Boundaries. Also, I do not like you enough to tolerate your spit and sludge flying around the office. Some of you, I don't like at all.

So, good morning Whitenoisers, and may you be spared the worst of the ills upon us all, though those who thrust their germs upon you deserve the wrath of a thousand imploding suns. Anything obnoxious crawling up your noses today?