I'M AWAKE. SERIOUSLY. I AM FULLY FUNCTIONING AND CONSCIOUS OF MY SURROUNDINGS. HOW MAY I HELP YOU TODAY?

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Well, the good-ish news about yesterday's Über-Mondayness is that I was too busy to fall on my face and start snoring. Yes, please, do call on the first day back after a holiday when lots of people take extra time to travel, immediately when the office is open to ask why no one has returned your call from the feast table. Do you folks have lives at all or is the closest simulacrum encapsulated in your interaction with people who haven't caught up with a week's worth of messages and/or the person who is also trying to keep up with a week's worth of catch-up work from those same people, but keeps getting interrupted to answer the frikkin' phone when you already left three messages today?

*deep breath* It's okay. I'm calm. It'll be fine. So, how's your world, fine imaginary friends? Keeping a happy face for the masses?