Answer: The cops show up at your house to tell you you have a bear in a tree in your back yard.

So, 9pm on a Saturday night, I'm getting some water from the kitchen and a vehicle pulls into my driveway.

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That's odd. I don't like people. So they generally stay away from me. Then I notice it's the towns police cruiser.

Rut-roh......wha'd I do?

Officer gets out of the vehicle and....uh....his shotgun is slung across his chest.

Double rut-roh.....

He flashes his flashlight around mny front yard, then heads to my door. So I step out and ask whats up.

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He tells me there's a bear in my backyard. He's eating something, but was startled by the police and went up one of my trees.

See, this is funny. Because I mowed my lawn today, and saw chunks of food all over my back yard. I had no idea where it was from. That is, until I got to the back corner that connects to my neighbors, and they had a pile of old food sitting next to their burn barrel.

I figured a raccoon or a possum or a skunk got into it.

Nope. It's a bear. It's too dark out for me to see the tree he's in tight now. And I'm supposed to stay inside. (official orders I have no compunction ignoring, but I have no real reason to go outside). From what I can see looking out my window, the bear is still there, and the cops are about 20 yards away, keeping an eye on it so no one gets hurt.

Now, I know I said I live in the boonies. And I do, sort of. I live in a small town in northern Wisconsin. The next closest town is 10 miles away. Lots of farms and woods around here.

I see deer, turkey, eagles, pheasant on a daily basis. Bear I see about one or two times a month driving around. Coyotes and wolves aren't unheard of, either. But this is in my back yard!

Here is the Google Earth view of the scene:

  • My house is labeled 'Me'
  • The bear is in the tree marked by the yellow circle
  • The cops are sitting at the yellow triangle, watching
  • The burn barrel and food pile is marked with an 'X'

I have a feeling my neighbors will be told that they can't burn leave food out anymore without burning it. Seeing as they are an elderly couple in their late 80's, I doubt they'll listen. Theirs is the house on the corner, and they have been living there for 50+ years.

So, how much fun are you having on this Saturday night?

*Interesting Side Note*

I didn't include it in the picture, but just off to the left is Paulson Brothers Ordnance. The make replica canons. They have a half dozen sitting in front of their building. Here is a shot of their display, with the yellow arrow pointing to my house.