There are a few things I was blissfully ignorant of before my daughter came into my life. I didn't know the first thing about changing a diaper, or about the horrors (and aftermath) my wife would endure as she brought our little one into the world, I didn't know that every two hours for the better part of a month I would receive an unignorable wakeup call; I knew life would be different, but to put it bluntly, I had no clue. I, for one, did not know how vital the job of booger/snot extraction would be. To help out with this seemingly innocuous task, there are plenty of nasal aspirators (henceforth known as snot suckers) on the market that help in removing the junk from a baby's nose. One would think, as I once thought, that a snot sucker, is a snot sucker, is a snot sucker. Not true. Not all snot suckers are made equal.

Upon release from the hospital after the birth of our daughter, my wife and I brought home our little bundle of joy, along with a goodie bag which included, among all the stuff, a snot sucker that looks something like this:

The thing is a beast, it can suck the boogers out of a baby like nobody's business. Our problem came about when we began to need to make extractions away from home. It's not practical to transfer one snot sucker from changing table to diaper bag and back all the time. So, being the resourceful people that we are, we went through the stash of stuff that was given to us at the myriad of baby showers that were thrown for us prior to our baby's arrival and came away with no less than three extra snot suckers that came in various baby "health" kits. We thought life was good, we could keep one in a diaper bag, one in the living room, one on the changing table and never be without this wonderful device. The only problem was that they sucked, and not in the good way. They were about 1/2 as large as the one we got in the hospital, had a fraction of the power, and looked something like the 1st image below.

Then began the great snot sucker quest of 2013. We scoured stores for the perfect snot sucker. We bought suckers akin to the next three images...

All of which were terrible. We even found one that was from Sweeden (last image), and its expense and foreign pedigree was too much to ignore. How could it not be good?

It works ok, but not $16 worth of ok. The moral of my little tale? In the world of snot sucking tech, there is no substitue for the good 'ol hospital grade snot sucker. For sheer booger busting power, it can't really be beat.