Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm. Do not attempt to adjust your blog.
I am at a loss.
It’s not very often I can be shut up, but it has happened.
I was doing research for todays oddity post, and I kept coming across articles describing a current event that made what ever subject I was researching seem not odd at all. So I finally had to give up.
I then decided I was going to write a spoof post for today. I was going to basically take the plot from the 1986 movie ‘The Manhattan Project’ and play one of my stupid jokes on you all to see how long it would take for you to realize I was talking about a movie.
But then I decided that would just be dumb. I mean, how many people besides me has even seen that movie? (it was a good movie, btw)
And then, as I was all stumped about today’s subject I decided to give up.
The real world wins this week.
Nothing I can write will even come close to being as odd as what really happened.
Doctors have preformed the worlds first successful penis transplant. They say within a couple of weeks the recipient will regain full functionality.
Ok....now that’s odd. A winky-dink is not something you would think could be transplanted.
Think about the logistics of that. Did they take into consideration thinks like skin tone? Imagine a light skinned white guy receiving a dark skinned schlong. And what about size? Not just length, but girth? Was there a stump they had to match it to? Imagine your doctors telling you, “We have a penis for you. It’s a perfect match!” Then you wake up from the surgery and realize the donor was two years old.
And what about the lean. Most weenies lean to one side. What if the new one leans the other way and you keep peeing on the wall because your aim is off?
How did the guy lose his flute?
You know how some people say ‘Cancer can be a real bitch’? Well, cancer can be a real bitch. I had no idea you could lose your dong to the Big-C. Talk about awful. It’s not bad enough you have to endure a life threatening disease that requires you to basically be poisoned to cure it, but it decides to remove your ding-dong while it’s at it.
I am fully aware that cancer can cause people to lose body parts. My own mother had to endure a double mastectomy to stave off the beast before it decided it really wanted to make a comeback tour. But breast cancer is something that is talked about. Penis cancer is not.
Anyway, there is nothing I can come up with that can out-odd a penis transplant.
So I’m not even going to try.
I wonder if they let the guy keep his old one in a jar. Like, he could keep it on the mantle as a conversation starter. “OH MY GOD! WHY IS THERE A PENIS IN A JAR ON YOUR MANTLE?”