Twas the day before Christmas and Otter is mad,

Well, not really mad, but certainly not glad.

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You see this winter has been pleasantly mild,

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That is, until Wednesday, when the weather got wild.

He watched the weather on Tuesday at nine,

The weather for Wednesday was said to be fine.

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But when Otter got up it was just oh-dark-thirty,

And the weather jerk was a liar so dirty.

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You see, it wasn’t, very nice out of doors,

The weather was something you’d find on the moors.

It was cold and dark and rainy and wet,

And that was as nice as that day would get.

He turned on the tv to watch the local news,

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To watch the weather guy, and hear the lies that he spews.

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He said that the rain would last for a while,

And then turn to snow, but barely a pile.

We might get an inch, or maybe just two,

It won’t wreck your plans if you’ve something to do.

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So off to the school our Otter did go,

Looking forward to the little trace of snow.

But by nine am the forecast had changed,

A winter storm warning the weather man claimed.

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It won’t be snow totaling two inches anymore,

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It will be will now be snow equalling inches of four.

And by the time the clock struck eleven,

If it was six that you wanted, you’d be up in heaven.

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By Noon they corrected, what’s up with that mate,

Now the inches skyrocketed way up to eight.

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It will be a white Christmas day this year,

White enough to stick in the weathermans ear.

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I don’t really mind that we’re getting the snow,

But this damn el nino really has got to go.

So what does this have to do with Christmas you ask,

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Not a damn thing, as Otter grabs his flask.

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But he needed a poem in iambic pentameter,

And he decided to write about this subject mater.

He could have told about the drive he did shovel,

But who wants to hear about that pathetic drivel.

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This one is short, but don’t be mad at Otter,

It all the fault of Queen Amadalas daughter.

You see he has Jedi queued up on his TV,

To ogle at Leia in her tiny slave bikini.

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Yes Otter is creepy with a mind oh so dirty,

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But remember that he’s been up since oh-dark-thirty.

Now excuse me because Leia’s wearing a bikini so tight,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!