Twas the day before Christmas and Otter is mad,

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Well, not really mad, but certainly not glad.

You see this winter has been pleasantly mild,

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That is, until Wednesday, when the weather got wild.

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He watched the weather on Tuesday at nine,

The weather for Wednesday was said to be fine.

But when Otter got up it was just oh-dark-thirty,

And the weather jerk was a liar so dirty.

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You see, it wasn’t, very nice out of doors,

The weather was something you’d find on the moors.

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It was cold and dark and rainy and wet,

And that was as nice as that day would get.

He turned on the tv to watch the local news,

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To watch the weather guy, and hear the lies that he spews.

He said that the rain would last for a while,

And then turn to snow, but barely a pile.

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We might get an inch, or maybe just two,

It won’t wreck your plans if you’ve something to do.

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So off to the school our Otter did go,

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Looking forward to the little trace of snow.

But by nine am the forecast had changed,

A winter storm warning the weather man claimed.

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It won’t be snow totaling two inches anymore,

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It will be will now be snow equalling inches of four.

And by the time the clock struck eleven,

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If it was six that you wanted, you’d be up in heaven.

By Noon they corrected, what’s up with that mate,

Now the inches skyrocketed way up to eight.

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It will be a white Christmas day this year,

White enough to stick in the weathermans ear.

I don’t really mind that we’re getting the snow,

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But this damn el nino really has got to go.

So what does this have to do with Christmas you ask,

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Not a damn thing, as Otter grabs his flask.

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But he needed a poem in iambic pentameter,

And he decided to write about this subject mater.

He could have told about the drive he did shovel,

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But who wants to hear about that pathetic drivel.

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This one is short, but don’t be mad at Otter,

It all the fault of Queen Amadalas daughter.

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You see he has Jedi queued up on his TV,

To ogle at Leia in her tiny slave bikini.

Yes Otter is creepy with a mind oh so dirty,

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But remember that he’s been up since oh-dark-thirty.

Now excuse me because Leia’s wearing a bikini so tight,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!