Haven’t you ever seen a man trying to get a meeting with the head of the psychiatric department before?

I was going to use the original quote, but I decided not to. Because Dr. C is crazy. (I don’t care about that test. It was years ago and his insanity has deepened since childhood!) Because, he is crazy. There is so much wrong with him I don;t even know where to start! At the minimum, he’s OCD, a narcissist, has Borderline Personality Disorder and is paranoid.

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I’m a peaceful guy. I’m gentle. I abstain from violence unless absolutely necessary. And I would kick this mans ass so hard if he were real and I had to spend any time with him. Don’t get me wrong, there are a couple of things to like about Sheldon Cooper. He’s...um....predictable? He’s not condescending all the time. He’s really good at polishing belt buckles. If you ever have a question about trains, he’s your go-to guy.

Also, did you notice that the tuft of chest hair he’s displaying mimics the shadow caused by some deep cleavage? (what is seen can never be unseen! Muh-hu-hwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaa)

Today is Tell The Truth Tuesday, and I suppose I might as well get all the truthiness out about yesterdays post. Because that’s what I do on Tuesdays. I let you know if yesterdays post was fact or fiction.

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And it was fiction. Yes, that’s right, I made it up. I’m not saying that neanderthals couldn’t have built wind powered mills or pumps. I’m just saying that I made up the evidence and suppression of the facts. Although, to be honest, I don’t think they could have. While neanderthal brains were larger than human brains, the shape of their larynx wouldn’t have allowed for as many verbal sounds as humans have. So their verbal communication skills would have been limited. They may have had an extensive guttural language, or sign language, but that’s unfortunately, something we will never know because they died out about 30,000 years ago. And if they had a written language, we haven’t found any examples of it yet.

So, what it all boils down to is, I lied. Better luck next week. Unless you guessed right this week. Then, hey, good for you. Pat yourself on the back.

If you look up at the picture I posted, (you can see his boobs now, can’t you?), I’m sure you recognize the outfit he’s wearing. It’s a French Maids uniform. And that is today’s oddity subject.

To be more precise, did maids, French or otherwise, ever really wear that style as a uniform? I could lie to you and say ‘Yes’. The I could justify it by saying back in the early 19th century, just after the revolution redistributed the classes and France suddenly had scores of newly wealthy, they spent their new found wealth on baubles, gee-gaws and trinkets that were all quite expensive. And to keep them and their huge homes clean, they hired maids. But that the traditional maids uniform was too bulky, and the precious doo-dads were easily broken by the bulky uniforms. So the homeowners put their maids into these skimpy uniforms to protect their valuables. (And because they were men who were always willing to look at a scantily clad young lady as she bent to do some ducting...)

But, I can’t actually tell you that. Because it just isn’t true. And it’s not Monday. I suppose I could have saved it for next week, but nah...

The actual truth is, there is no evidence that any maid, French or otherwise, ever wore that costume for work. (now, I’m sure there have been isolated cases where men have ‘encouraged’ their maids to wear that outfit. But it was never a standard uniform). In fact, the typical uniform worn by maids was an ankle length, full sleeve, black woolen dress. A white bonnet would be work, and an apron would also sometimes be used to help carry supplies. That is the outfit maids typically wore.

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It might not have been sexy, in fact, it could be called downright dowdy, but it was very practical. Victorian era houses were not always the warmest. Wool was warm. And it was sturdy. A single dress could last for years. Plus, the victorian era was a more modest era. Women didn’t expose their ankles or their arms. Well, decent women didn’t anyway. And the lady of the house certainly didn’t want the help to be flouncing around in some skimpy negligee where the man of the house could see her, and be tempted by her.

So, where did the stereotypical French maid costume come from? Well.....from men’s fantasy. They first appeared in the bawdry burlesque shows. Farcical sex comedies would feature the man of the house trying to seduce the help. To make it more titillating, they dressed the women in a highly modified maids uniform. Gone was the wool, exchanged for silk. The length was shortened so the skirt just barely covers the nether yea-yah. And it became frilly, not functional. Exactly what men, (and women), going to the burlesque shows wanted to see. Couples would frequently go to the burlesque to see a sexy farce, then go home and reenact it in their own bed chambers. Not unlike a modern day couple watching Cinemax* to get some ideas for their own fun.

So ladies, next time you want to have some fun with the other half, tell them in the morning that when they get home, there will be a French maid waiting for them. Then when they get home, you’re dressed like this:

* Does Cinemax still show all that softcore crap? It’s been years since I’ve actually seen Cinemax, so I don’t know. And is Reel Sex still on HBO? And if it is and I subscribe to HBG Go, will I get it? Not that I’m interested or anything.....just....curious.

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