"But Pa....I swear....I don't know what happened to your box of Scooby Snacks! Maybe Jeb took them! Jeb never liked me...."

I was thinking about posting a caption having to do with monkeys and grooming, but he's alone, so I went with the Scooby Snacks. because everyone likes Scooby Snacks.

Advertisement

I also considered using the caption, "Anyone want to see me pick a scab?", but I thought it might be a little gross for this early in the morning, so I decided not to.

I figured this was a perfect picture to use today for many reasons. One, it conveys confusion. And two, it involves a Bush. Just like todays post.

Today is Totally Trippy Theory Thursday. I will tell you about a conspiracy theory that actual people actually believe. I don't believe them, but there are people out there who do.

Advertisement

Now, I have to warn you about todays theory. It's going to be a little hard to follow. I'll try to make it as clear as I can, but this one is really out there.

It starts with a man named Otto Skorzeny. Otto was a nazi. He was a colonel in the Shutzstaffel, otherwise known as the SS. He was a fixer for Hitler. That is, he did the hard jobs. Jobs like rescuing Mussolini in 1943 when he was captured. And infiltrating english speaking troops in US uniforms behind the lines to cause confusion during the Battle of the Bulge. (He lost 17 pounds!) ((no he didn't...bad joke))

After the war, he was put on trial and was acquitted of any war crimes. He then moved to Spain where he died in 1975.

Except, no. He didn't. After he was acquitted, the forerunner to the CIA, (the OSS), gave him a new identity and moved him to the US where he spent the rest of his life working construction. And shortly before his death, he revealed certain truths to the jewish boyfriend of one of his daughters.

Pay attention now....it's about to get confusing.....

In 1943, Otto and another man, Reinhardt Gehlen, went to New York and murdered 86 year old Nikolai Tesla. Skorzeny claimed to have suffocated him to make it look like he died from natural causes.

Advertisement

This murder was carried out because of the urgings of a high ranking nazi, George Scherf Sr. His son, George Schref Jr, was an assistant to Tesla. Tesla had refused to work for Hitler, so the hit was ordered.

Skorzeny then went on to claim that Schref Jr., when the war had first broken out, convinced an American businessman to adopt him as his son, so he could fully integrate into society and implement a part of Hitlers master plan to take over the world. That American was Prescott Bush who gladly adopted this nazi into his family. He was given the new name of George Herbert Walker Bush.

It was a good thing, too. Because after the war, Schref/Bush started learning about government, and in particular, the intelligence sector from the founder of the CIA, Reinhardt Gehlen. And after he was made director of the CIA, Schref/Bush was finally able to arrange the safe passage of his beloved fuhrer, Adolph Hitler, from Austria to Montana.

Advertisement

You see, according to Skorzeny, it was Hitlers body double who was killed in the bunker. The Russians and Americans knew it, but were afraid to let that information leak to the public. Hitler actually was flown to Austria where he hid out until Schref/Bush was able to move him to Montana, where he died in 1999.

So, to summarize, Otto Skorzeny, who became a construction worker, says he and the future founder of the CIA murdered Tesla on the orders of Hitler who had been advised to do so by Teslas assistant who became George HW Bush, who moved Hitler to Montana before being elected the 41st president.

Makes sense....

Now, remember, I am not making any of this up. This is a real theory that is really believed by real people. I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating; I can't make this shit up.