When people talk about the Kennedy assassination, I tell them they missed...

Bad joke? Poor taste? So what?

Look....I needed a picture of Kennedy. Sure, I could have used John Fitzgerald, but why? It's not like his family is the only one to carry that name, right?

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I mean, look at all the quality programming that little girl gave us. Um....Alternative Nation, right? And as far as MTV wen, that was some quality programming.

All right. it wasn't. MTV has never had any quality programming of the live action kind. Their animation rocks, but live action? Not so much. I think it all has to do with their on air talent. Or, on air lack of talent I should say.

Not that it maters anymore. I mean, when is the last time you really heard any music on MTV? Do they even show videos anymore? Does anyone care? Do I care?

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I think the last time I enjoyed watching MTV was in 1986 or 87 when I was in high school. I discovered that if you turned down the volume on Iron Maidens 'Wasted Years' video and played the Monkees 'Gonna Buy Me A Dog', it synced almost perfectly.

Look....don't ask me how I know this. There was pot involved. 'Nuff said.

Anyway, today is, of course, Tuesday, which makes it Tell The Truth Tuesday! And so I will. I shall now reveal unto you the answer to that question that has burned in your brains for a whole 24 hours; Did otter lie yesterday?

*Picture Richard Dawson* Survey Says.......

Yes. I lied. Lied like a rug too tired to stand. I mean, really. Porky Pig? Out of all the cartoons the leader of the Soviet Union would like, Porky Pig? Nope. Made it up out of thin air. For all I know, Yuri Andropov had no idea who, or what, Porky Pig was.

Ah well. Otter lied. Deal with it.

And that brings us to todays subject: Kennedy. Not the VJ from MTV. And not the president or his brothers. Not even his wife.

Nope. Today, the Kennedy I want to talk about is the name it's self, not any person attached to it.

Many of you know, and now those of you who didn't also know, the name Kennedy is Irish in origin. But not exactly. There is also a branch of Kennedys that originated in Sotland that aren't related to the Irish Kennedys at all. That means, Kennedy is Gaelic, to be exact.

Last names are funny. In most languages, last names were derived from a persons profession. Before last names were common, you referred to someone as 'Bruce the black smith' or Bruce the cobbler'. How else could you tell the Bruces apart?

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When last names became fashionable, we referred to them by profession. Bruce Smith, and Bruce Shoemaker.

In other cultures, they too their fathers name as their last names. Iceland still does this. 'Bruce, son of John', became Bruce Johnson.

Other last names were derived from a description of the person, as in the case of the Icelandic names. Kennedy is one of those names.

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Kennedy is the anglicized version of the gaelic 'O Ceanneidigh', which translates to Grandson of Ceanneidigh. Makes sense, right?

Well, the part where I get to make fun of the name under the auspices of telling you about something odd comes from the etymology of the gaelic name Ceanneidigh. Like most names, this one is also a description. However, it does not describe the persons job. it's a physical description.

Ceanneidigh is actually two gaelic words combined together. Ceann and Eidigh. Hilarious, what?

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Oh....you guys didn't take three years of gaelic like I did?* Harumph. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Gaelic is, after all, an almost dead language. The Irish teach it in schools to keep their heritage alive, but there are only two or three small communities where it's still spoken. And that's mostly for tourists.

Ah well, allow me to translate for you then. Ceann is the gaelic word for ugly, and eidigh is the gaelic word for head. So, Ceanneidigh is gaelic for ugly-head. Now is it funny?

There is some ambiguity on the original spelling, though. There are some that claim Ceanneidigh is actually spelled Cinneidigh. And if that's the case, it's not much better. You see, cinn is gaelic for helmet.

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So, it's either John Fitzgerald Uglyhead, or John Fitzgerald Helmethead. Neither one is really a dignified surname for a president. Rich fodder for third graders to make fun of, though!

But, we can't make total fun of the name, though. Some historians believe the name Ceanneidigh is a more modern version of the old gaelic name Cennetig. That would be the surname of Cennetig Mac Lorcain, who was the father of Brian Mac Cennetig, who was the high king of Ireland. He was known as Brian Boruma, or Brian Boru.

Brian Boru is significant to Irish history as the man who unified Ireland under one king. At the time, Ireland had a population of 500,000, and they were ruled by 150 kings! Ireland is really small, (about the size of Indiana), so to be split into 150 kingdoms meant there was a lot of fragmentation. But Brian Boru fixed it.

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Ooop....got sidetracked. No one want's to hear Irish history. The point is, Kennedy means Ugly head, or helmet head.

Not feeling so bad about your own last name now, are you?

*I didn't really take three years of gaelic so much as I had to sit in on the class for three years. The kids in Ireland started learning it about 3rd grade. I went to school there from 7th to 9th grades. (1st through 3rd form, they called it). So I would have been woefully behind had I actually had to study it. Instead, it was basically a study hall for me. But I did pick up a few choice words....mostly swear words....