Say it! SAY IT! SAYITSAYITSAYIT!!!!
If ever there was a candidate for Xanax, Prozac and Adderall, it's Beavis. Dude was whacked out hyper active. Of course, that was part of what made the show so funny.
Kids these days, they don't understand the magic of Beavis and Butthead. I blame MTV. How can todays kids understand the magic of two stoners whose main goal in life was to make fun of music videos, if MTV doesn't show videos?
Sure, they changed it up every now and then with frog baseball, or breaking into their neighbors trailer to masturbate. They even went to school or work occasionally. But mostly, they made fun of music videos. And acted like 3 year olds.....
And that's why I picked Beavis for todays picture. Because todays subject is:
Wood. But not just any wood:
Ok....get it all out of your system now......Yes....I heh-heh....said 'hard'....huhuhhuhhuhhh
What is hard wood? (stop it!) The botanical term hardwood means a plant that is broad leaved and deciduous, and are angiosperms, (flowering plants). They are not to be confused with the coniferous gymnosperms, (non-flowering plants).
Here's where we start to have a bit of fun. Do you remember as a kid, going to the Five and Dime store? (I grew up in a town that actually had an original Ben Franklins Five and Dime.) Most people would call them a drug store. It was that store in town that used to have everything. Medicine, candy, toys, clothes, cards, hardware, school supplies, food, virtually anything you needed, you could get. It wasn't high quality goods, but if you needed it, they probably had it.
The toys they had were the cheap crap no respectable toy store would carry. They were designed for moms to buy for the kids to shut their pie-holes for a few minutes.
One of the most popular toys they had was that airplane in the plastic baggie. It was usually a glider, but sometimes you got the fancy model that had a rubber band powered propeller. They cost about a quarter, and I never even had to ask for them. If they were by the register, dad bought me one.
They were made out of balsa wood. And you generally lost them after a few tosses. (roofs gobbled them up like Honey Boo-Boo gobbles Skittles...)
Those of you who know balsa wood know it's considered the softest wood there is. And it pretty much is.
But what you might not know is, it's a hardwood. Yup. You read that right. The softest wood is a hardwood.
But that's not the oddity about balsa. It's just an botanical fact.
No, the oddity is, when measured in the three categories of stiffness, bendability and compressibility, balsa is the strongest. Stronger than pine and even oak.
One thing balsa is not, is the lightest wood. In fact, it's not even second or third. It's the fourth lightest wood out there. Caveat: when talking about practical wood, that is, wood you can actually use for building, it's the second lightest. The lightest is the wood from the Whau tree found in New Zealand, which the Maori use to make fishing floats.
So, a soft wood is really a hard wood, and a strong wood. If it's harvested in the early hours of the day, can we also call it a morning wood?
Ok....4 year old me is leaving now....