Grrrrr! Fearz meh! Pwease?
Daww.....whoooze a scawy widdle numkins? Iz it you? Iz it? Yez it iz....aww....pwecious widdle numkins!
Oh please....shoot me now before I do it again.....
I just can't do cutsey. No matter how hard I try, I just can't It makes me want to vomit up my toenails.
But, before I succumb to the toenail regurgitation, allow me to school everyone who answered yesterdays Made Up Monday.
See, today is Tell the Truth Tuesday. Today, I come clean about the fact I laid down yesterday.
Except I didn't lay down any facts. Despite what you may have heard, the whole poison thing was made up. I didn't make it up, but I don't see in the rule book where it says I have to be the one to make it up.
The real reason we clink glasses together when toasting is actually quite stupid. In the beginning, (well, hundreds of years ago, anyway), a host would break out a communal cup and fill it with wine. A piece of spiced, cooked bread was tossed in. (that's why it's called a 'toast'). The host would say some kind words about whomever or whatever was being toasted and pass around the drinking vessel. Everyone present would drink, and the host would eat the toast and drink whatever was left.
These days people don't want to share backwash with people, so everyone raises their individual drinking vessel. They are clinked together to show that everyone shares in the good wishes.
And, that's why people clink glasses. because we're pansys who balk at sharing wine, and other things, in a communal cup.
But, back to our hedgehog.
I have decided to name him. And I shall call him Ron. Or should I call him Jeremy? Maybe I'll just call him both: Ron Jeremy.
Get it? Ron Jeremy the Hedgehog?
You all do watch porn, right? I mean, you do know who Ron Jeremy is, right? Only the king of porn? I mean, according to his wiki, he's appeared in over 2,200 adult films. And in most of them, he did what he does.
And his nickname in the industry is 'The Hedgehog' because...well....if you've ever seen him naked, you'd understand. Dude is hairy. Very hairy.
So far, today's oddity consists of a man named Ron, who is, apparently the king of porn, and is very hairy, and also quite chubby. Is the oddity the fact that he's fat but still gets to make porn with all the hottest stars?
No. The oddity is something you'd never expect.
Ron, you see, is covered in case he ever has to quit the porn industry.
Before his career really took off, porn was a way to help pay the bills. And getting a masters degree in special education wasn't cheap.
Yep. Before his porn career really took off and he could quit his day job, Ron was a special ed teacher in the NYC area. He even was a substitute for regular classes.
Now, I'm not going to presume any of you are as sick, twisted and perverted as I am, so I won't just assume you've seen Ron in action. And, I'm not going to tell you to go watch his work. But, if you have had the chance to see him in 'action', you would never guess he had a masters degree. In special ed, no less.
Just goes to show, you can't judge a book by it's cover.