Forgive me father....I didn't know it was your beer when I drank it. Also, I just farted. And I had lewd thoughts about a big bowl of chocolate pudding.

The thought of confession chills me to the bone. I could never do it. Not that I have so much to hide, or that I'm a terrible person, but, I have a horrible short term memory.

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And, if you're going to forget to confess some sins, what's the point of confessing any? Besides, a lot of what the Catholic Church considers t be a sin, I do not. And that could get you in trouble, too. So I find it's easiest to just not confess. I mean, did all the abusive priests confess their pederasty?

Confession can sort of be linked to my mini-rant yesterday about good and bad. What's good to one is bad to another. But I'm not going to get into that again. Because no one want's to hear about it anymore.

So instead, I'm going to move right along to the answer to yesterdays Made Up Monday.

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True. Velociraptors were actually nothing more than extra large vicious chickens. The creatures passed off as velociraptors in Jurassic Park were Deinonychus. Velociraptor sounded better and was easier to pronounce.

And, yes, contrary to what you all think, Velociraptor was slow enough to out run. It's legs were short and thick. It would have a very short burst of speed, but like a chicken, it wouldn't be for very long.

But, if I started pointing out all the mistakes in Jurassic Park, (should have been named Cretaceous Park), we'd be here all week. So I won't. Unless someone asks me to in the comments.

Today I'm going to tell you about something odd that first involves me making a confession. But I have no guilt, so my confession is more along the lines of information. Here goes:

I take performance enhancing drugs.

Minds out of the gutter! (you know who you are....). It's not that kind of performance I'm enhancing.

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In the summer time, I shoot trap and skeet. This involves large bore shotguns, and small clay disks. For trap, you stand at 5 different stations and fire 5 shots from each at a clay pigeon that is launched from a thrower either 16 or 23 yards away. The object is to hit all 25. Skeet is the same basic concept, except where you stand and how the pigeons are thrown is different.

Some of you may have seen trap in the olympics. It's a very competitive sport.

In fact, there are many shooting sports that are competitive. And yes, It's called a sport. If golf get's to be a sport, so does shooting. Nyah!

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And this is where I run into problems. Because, according to officially sanctioned rules, I take a performance enhancing drug. That drug? Alcohol.

In fact, alcohol is a banned substance in 6 sports: Aeronautic, Auto Racing, Karate, Motorcycling, Power boating and Shooting. Auto racing, motorcycling and power boating is understandable due to impaired driving concerns. karate because of the belligerence factor, aeronautic because.....um....I have no idea why drinking and launching rockets would be a problem. And finally, shooting, including archery, because a small amount of alcohol is known to settle nerves. It's hard to shoot straight when your hands are shaking.

I can personally attest to the efficacy of alcohol and shooting. If I shoot for score before any beer, I have an average of 20. If I have 3 beers, then shoot, My average is 23. More than 6 before I shoot and my average falls to about 21.

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In fact, 95% of the competitive shooters I know will not shoot for score unless they have had a beer or two. (amount varies by person).

Now, keep in mind the leagues we shoot in aren't exactly olympic level. Although, there are about a dozen shooters at just our club who have an average above 24. (25 is the max. Top shooter last year missed 2 out of 400 birds over the course of the season). The leagues around here are just a bunch of guys who like to shoot getting together to have fun.

But keep in mind, alcohol is considered a performance enhancer. Unless the performance you're trying to enhance involves someone else. Then it's a performance reducer.