Kinky Sex Makes the World Go Around.
Sex. We don't like to talk about it, but without it, no one would be here.
For most species, in fact, all of them except humans and dolphins, have sex for the sole purpose of procreation. Humans and dolphins have it for fun.
And, while I can't speak for the dolphins, I do know from my years on the internet, that some humans idea of fun sex is pretty kinky. (I swear, I don't know how those links got into my browser history!)
But, I'm not going to get into that subject. If you're curious about human sexual kinkyness, Google it. Frankly, I couldn't do the oddness justice. (people are whack!)
But, there are some fairly kinky creatures in the animal world. They just don't know they're kinky. And today, I'm telling you about two of them. Aren't you lucky?
The first is the Midge. What is a midge? Well, it's an annoying little bug. It's not really a single species, but is a term used to refer to small, flying insects. Some of them bite, and some don't. Some like to gather around your head, and some just fly into your ears and mouth, while others like to hide in your drink.
During sex, however, some midges will kiss. And I'm not talking a light peck on the cheek. Oh no. These midges go all out. They look like a couple of teenagers in the back row of the movie theater.
The interesting thing is, it only looks like they're kissing. The female is actually sucking all the males vital bodily fluids out his mouth. And when she's done, she leaves a dry husk of a mate behind. I think I dated a midge once.....
The other one I want to tell you about is the Cichlid. This is a fish, and it is the envy of men everywhere. Why? Well, I'll tell you.
The female Cichlid shoots out her eggs into the water, unfertilized. And to protect them, she will scoop them up with her mouth. This isn't actually uncommon. What makes the male Cichlid the envy of men everywhere is, the eggs the female scoops up are not fertilized yet.
So, the males have the problem of, how to fertilize the eggs in my mates mouth? Hmmm.....what to do, what to do....
The answer is simple. The fish participate in a fishy version of oral sex. Yes men, the male gets the female pregnant by splooging in their mouths. If humans it that way, there'd be a lot fewer of us. But think of all the adult stars who would be pregnant. Not that I would know anything about that. Um....where's my bible? I'm late for church.....
There you have just two of the stranger mating practices in the animal kingdom. I hope you all noticed the restraint I placed on myself while describing the Cichlid. Frankly, I didn't do it out of any sense of decency. I'm just out of time. This post needs to go live in five minutes.
Consider yourselves lucky. (plus, I don't want to scare away the new people on their second day. They still need to get used to me.)