Hmm.....I don't....Oh I see it now.

Have you ever heard of this thing called the 'internet'? Apparently it's this magical place where you can find anything you want, and do almost whatever you want.

And, I've heard everyone is really really smart on the internet.

Well, everyone who makes the internet is smart, at least. And these smart people who make the internet do it by crating these things called 'web sites'.

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A 'web site' is like a book. It contains all sorts of information on separate 'web pages'. And, the title of the 'web site' is what's known as it's URL. URL stands for 'Usually Relevant Language', or something. (no one really knows for sure. someone asked what it was called and the guy who invented it thought he was asked 'who did you just say goodbye to?' and he replied 'Earl')

Since no one can pronounce URL without sounding stupid, it was decided to call it a 'web address'. A web address is what you type into your Bowser. We must all thank Mario for subduing Bowser so we can all use him to go on the internet.

The use of this 'web address' requires a protocol. If you try using an actual Col, you won't have any luck. The most common protocols are:

  • http: Highly Tensile Toilet Paper
  • ftp: Flimsy Toilet Paper
  • https: High Tendency Toilet Paper Scratches

You must use the proper protocol, otherwise the internet will rebel against you, and it will give you a virus, like Measles or Mumps.

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As you can see, the internet is clearly a wondrous thing and should be used with care.

The following are actual web sites that wished they had used a little more care when selecting their name.

  • IT Scrap - A website dedicated to recycling old IT equipment. itscrap.com (It's Crap)
  • Dickson - A company that manufactures data recorders for climate control devices. dicksonweb.com (Dicks On Web - renamed to dicksondata.com)
  • Action Paintball Games - A website dedicated to paintball. actionpaintballsac.com (Action Paint Ballsac)
  • Therapist Finder - a website dedicated to helping Californians find the help they need. therapistfinder.com (The Rapist Finder - URL now redirects to counselingcalifornia.com)
  • Therapist - A website that helps people help themselves. therapist.com (The Rapist)
  • Therapist In A Box - A website selling self-help tapes and books. therapistinabox.com (The Rapist In A Box)
  • La Drape International - An English company that makes bed covers. ladrape.com (Lad Rape)
  • American Scrap Metal - A website for a scrap metal company. americanscrapmetal.com (Americans Crap Metal)
  • North Of Boston Jewish Singles - A dating site for jewish singles north of Boston. nobjs.com (No Bjs)
  • Mole Station Native Plant Nursery - A website dedicated to the local fauna of Mole Station in Australia. molestationnursery.com (Molestation Nursery - now redirects to molerivernursery.com)
  • Kids Exchange - A website for parents to swap kids clothes to save money. kidsexchange.com (Kid Sex Change)
  • Budget Cook Islands - The website for Budget Rent-A-Car located on the Cook Islands. budget.co.ck (Budget Cock)
  • Master Bait and Tackle - Website for Master Bait and Tackle in Bonita Beach, Florida. masterbaitonline.com (Masterbait Online)
  • Ferreth and Jobs - Website for a pair of attorneys. ferrethandjobs.com (Ferret Handjobs - now redirects to ferrethjobs.com)
  • Who Represents - A website that allows you to find out who is the agent representing Hollywoods finest. whorepresents.com (Whore Presents)

Now, there are many many more like these out there. I'm lazy, so I found these few. If you know more, share in the comments.

But you have to wonder exactly what the web designer, or whoever, registered the domain name for these sites, was thinking.